Chapter 267: I Love You More Than I Love Myself

Xia Zi was stunned at the news. The elegant Xia Xinsheng was her biological mother.

Images of Xia Xinsheng trying to get her to leave Guan Zixuan flashed through her mind.

Guan Zixuan held her and asked, “A’zi, are you okay?”

Xia Zi nodded. “She should be happy now that she has found our mother right? Why did my sister pass out?”

Guan Zixuan sighed.

“Your mother never returned to A City to look for Suqing. She told Suqing that she wanted to break free from her past and she didn’t want to continue living in that shadow. Suqing couldn’t take it and had an emotional outburst, which caused her to pass out.”

Xia Zi looked dreadful when she heard this. Xia Xinsheng abandoned her daughter just to create a new life for herself?

Guan Zixuan took Xia Zi in an embrace.

“I’ve spent all these years with Mum and I know she’s not a bad person. She’s kind at heart, and she would probably have had a pressing reason to do so. Try to put yourself in her shoes. She just found out that her husband had been cheating on her for the past ten years. His mistress came knocking on her door and even tried to kill her by setting up an accident. She had nothing else to live for. If it weren’t for my father, you and Suqing might not have been able to meet her again. So I hope that you won’t blame her.”

Xia Zi remained silent with her head lowered.

Even so, Guan Zixuan could tell that her emotions were running wild. He stroked her hair gently.

“A’zi, don’t be too upset. You’ll always have me around. I’ll never abandon you in this life. I, Guan Zixuan, swear that I’ll die a horrible death if I ever abandon you! In this life...”

Xia Zi glared at him. “Are you looking for a beating, Guan Zixuan? Why are you cursing yourself like that!”

Guan Zixuan gave a wry smile. “I’m just trying to show my loyalty to you. I love you more than anyone else, even more than I love myself.”

Xia Zi rested her head on his chest for a while.

“When I regained my memories, I thought that you had mistaken me for my sister, which was why I decided to run away from our wedding. I had already gotten used to relying on you, or should I say that I’ve already fallen for you then, but my pride prevented me from staying. I’d never stay with somebody who didn’t share those feelings of mine because I, Xia Zi, would never deign to become anybody’s replacement. I’m unable to bow down even in front of love because I know that it wouldn’t be love at all!”

Guan Zixuan nodded. “You’re right, but...”

He tapped her on the nose. “Silly. You’re right, but you were the one who spent the past five years with me. You’re fundamentally different from Suqing, and I’m not such an idiot to be unable to recognize who I’ve really fallen for. You’re the one I’ve fallen for. Did you know how upset I was when you just left like that? I thought that I meant nothing to you, which was why you left me so cruelly!”

Xia Zi looked at him. “That was what you thought?”

She had always thought that Guan Zixuan was full of pride, and having him share his feelings so honestly with her like that made her feel for him.

She hugged him. “Then why did you only look for my sister when you went to A City previously?”

Guan Zixuan looked her in the eye and said, “Silly. Jealous?”

Xia Zi glared at him. “No, I’m not!”

He laughed and coaxed her gently like a child.

“Okay, okay. My A’zi wouldn’t be so petty!”

He then said, “I went looking for Suqing because she’s your sister, so I thought she’d be able to help me look for you.”

Xia Zi looked at him wide-eyed. “You approached my sister to get her help?”

“What do you think?” Guan Zixuan looked at her tenderly. “I care about you and I won’t give up that easily. But I suddenly had to return to Emperor City and everything got delayed!”

Xia Zi nodded at this. So this was what happened. We’re both too proud to admit our feelings for each other and no one wanted to be upfront. If I didn’t get hurt, our feelings for each other might just have remained buried in our hearts.

“Zixuan, let’s not keep things from each other in future, okay?”

Guan Zixuan nodded. “Okay!”

All that happened made him realize that it was best to let the other party know about how you felt. If nobody was willing to take the first step, it might just end up hurting everyone. 

He also realized that mutual trust was extremely important. He decided to trust the woman before him with his life from now on.

While Guan Zixuan and Xia Zi confessed their feelings to each other, Guan Mingchang was still trying to locate Xia Xinsheng around the hospital.

Guan Mingchang was worried about her. He cherished what they had especially after going through an unhappy marriage.

He wondered where Xia Xinsheng would go, and after about forty minutes, he spotted a figure that resembled Xia Xinsheng from afar.

The figure was standing on a bridge a distance away and though he could not make out any features, Guan Mingchang rushed towards the figure immediately.

It was none other than Xia Xinsheng.

Disappointment, guilt and regret were written clearly on her face, and it hurt Guan Mingchang to see her so upset.

He knew that Xia Xinsheng had been hurt greatly in her past marriage, and he tried his very best to fill that empty space in her heart all these years. He never thought that she would have such a huge reaction after seeing Mo Suqing only once.

Just how deeply did she bury all those feelings of hers?

It pained Guan Mingchang to see Xia Xinsheng like this.

He had wondered if they would have been able to get together earlier only if he had been a little more stubborn and chosen to refuse what his parents had planned for him.

She must feel so bad at how disappointed Mo Suqing was and it didn’t help matters that Xia Zi was still unconscious.

Guan Mingchang approached and hugged her from the back.

Xia Xinsheng panicked, but quickly realized it was Guan Mingchang.

Guan Mingchang rested his chin on her head. “Xinsheng, tell me if you’re upset. I’m your husband, so it’s my duty to share your sorrows. Don’t take it all upon yourself. It hurts me to see you like this!”

The guilt and sorrow in Xia Xinsheng could no longer be suppressed and her tears were unstoppable after she heard what Guan Mingchang said.

He was like an anchor she could hold onto as she got swept up by the fierce undercurrents of her roiling emotions.

Xia Xinsheng turned and buried her face in Guan Mingchang’s chest as she wept.

Guan Mingchang soothed her and patted her gently on the back.

“Don’t cry… I’m sure that the children will understand why you made those choices. Don’t be too upset...”

This made Xia Xinsheng cry harder, and Guan Mingchang’s shirt was drenched in her tears.

Guan Mingchang could only hold her.

Xia Xinsheng looked up at him after a long while. “Mingchang, I think I made a mistake. It’s my fault… I’ve let my children down. I’ve never thought of how Suqing would cope on her own after I left. I was too selfish. If it wasn’t for me, my children wouldn’t have had to go through all that pain. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault!”

Xia Xinsheng started crying again.

“I had no idea that A’zi was my daughter. I treated Zixuan as my own son, and if only I knew she was that poor daughter of mine, I would never have said all that to her. I regret it so, so much. I shouldn’t have stopped her from getting together with Zixuan in the first place. She’s still unconscious. What am I to do if anything happens to her? Mingchang, I did this to my children. What should I do? I’m so upset. I never thought that I would hurt my own child by protecting Zixuan. My poor daughter...”

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