TGL Volume 5, Chapter 4 (3)

Durandal got his butt kicked! It was almost like watching him fight me. Maybe, just maybe, his weakness is squirrels. Ilya says everyone has a weakness, and I already know mine: it’s water. Ah? What’s Ilya’s weakness? She said it was braindead morons incapable of forming a thought on their own volition. According to her, she says it’s impossible to read someone whose mind has no content. Coincidentally, she can’t read me either! …I’m going to punch her. I can’t believe I’m entrusting her with my daughter. Softie’s there too to take care of Sophia, but honestly, Softie’s resolve is as strong as a wet noodle when it comes to confronting Ilya. I hope Sophia’s fine. Ah, I miss her so much. Right, that’s why I have to make lots of money to afford the way back home! 

“Fighter! Slayer! Should I assume you’ve decided to harbor the criminal?” 

Fighter and Slayer turned their heads to look at me. “Since you’re not actually a criminal,” Slayer said and scratched his head, “maybe there’s been a misunderstanding? You should go down and explain what’s going on.” 

There has definitely been a misunderstanding. I’m no criminal! Alright, I’ll hop over the side of this branch and…. Huh, the ground is really far away. Ah! Here we go. Perfect landing if I may say so myself. “Hello, Mr. Chief!” 

The chief looked at me and furrowed his brow. “You’re not an immortal squirrel taking on a humanoid form. Are you a demi-squirrel?” 

Uh…. “What does demi mean?” 

The chief nodded. “Clearly, you’re more squirrel than other.” 

And what was that supposed to mean? That just because I don’t know a word, I must be a stupid squirrel? He shouldn’t be insulting squirrels like this! He’s a squirrel too! 

“Chief. We’re here to apprehend her.” 

The chief’s eyes sparkled, and he nodded at his subordinate. Seeing the way the subordinate lowered his head to meet the chief’s gaze reminded me of Mrs. Wuffletush greeting me. Since squirrels had such a large form, why did they shrink when they transformed into humanoid ones? Maybe large humans didn’t have optimal bodies for cultivation. I think that’s the explanation Slayer Junior gave me when he said beasts transformed themselves. …I think it was Slayer Junior who told me that. 

“Earlier today, we received reports of an immortal squirrel bullying a nameless family of three,” the chief said while staring into my eyes. The green glow on his body that he used to defeat Durandal was still there. He raised his hand up to block my face before I could say anything. “You don’t have to deny it. We already know it was you.” 

“How do we know it was her?” one of the subordinates asked his buddy. “I wasn’t paying attention when we were briefed.” 

Right! How did they know it was me? The squirrel I taught a lesson to said she didn’t know my name! And I’m pretty sure I don’t have a distinct smell that can easily be traced. Are these law enforcers magicians like Ilya? The only way they could discover me is through the use of some forbidden black magic! 

“Look up,” the subordinate’s buddy said. “She left her boat parked in the sky. All we had to do was follow it.” 

…Didn’t I tell Sir Pot to put the boat away? What’s he still doing up there? I bet he’s cooking something to surprise me with! He’s much more thoughtful and caring than Durandal or Puppers. Ah? Why does he have to cook up there? I don’t let him cook anything while he’s inside my tongue because it makes my mouth really hot. 

“You two, shut up!” the chief said and glared at his two subordinates. They covered their mouths with their paws and stared ahead with innocent, round eyes. The chief glared at me as if I were the one that had done something wrong when it was his two underlings that had annoyed him. “Come with us to the station. If you resist or fight back, I’ll beat you until you comply. It’s been a while since I’ve beaten someone, so please, give me a reason to make my day.” 

I’m not sure if I’m interpreting this correctly. “You want me to fight you?” That’s what he’s saying, right? In that case, I’ll take out my trusty hammer—the new one that Ilya made for me out of Kuang Feng’s body—and … swing! “Flaming Hammer!” 

“Hmph!” The chief raised his hand and punched towards the head of my hammer. The green glow on his hand collided with the flames, and— 

Snap. 

…Eh? My hammer … broke? 

The chief blinked and lowered his head to stare at the detached hammerhead lying on the ground. Did Ilya give me a fake weapon…? Why’s this hammer so flimsy!? I’m not sure what broke it: the force of my swing or the glow on the chief’s fist! Judging by the chief’s reaction, he wasn’t expecting this either. 

“Did you just attack me with a weapon held together by formations?” the chief asked, staring at me with a look of pity in his eyes. “Don’t you know squirrels are a formation master’s worst nightmare?” 

Err…. Did Ilya make my weapon out of formations? Maybe? I’m not sure, but she probably did. She did more formationing than she did blacksmithing. I’m pretty sure formationing is a word. It’s the act of creating formations just like blacksmithing is the act of … creating blacksmiths? Mm, that doesn’t sound right. Well, it doesn’t matter! What matters is my hammer broke! Gah! I don’t like the way this chief is looking at me either! I’ll beat him up with my sword! It might’ve been a while since I’ve last used a sword to fight, but that shouldn’t be a problem. This sword was made by a blacksmith using normal methods not involving formations. First, I’ll put away the pieces of my hammer. Then, I’ll take out my sword, and … swing! “Flaming Blade!”

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