TGL Volume 4, Chapter 21 (5)

Whew! I’m finally done digging through Durandal’s head. There was a lot of stuff in there, like, a lot a lot. There were so many bubbles about the time he was stuck inside that little dimension Roland stuck him in. Mm, I’m calling the Godking Roland from now on! He was actually just a big bully. He doesn’t deserve a title like the Godking. Maybe Poopking or Dumbking. How dare he treat Durandal so badly? Only I can do that! Ah? I treat Durandal badly? …Who said that? Since when? I love and pamper Durandal so much, there’s no way anyone could possibly think I treat him badly.

Anyways, I finally learned all of Durandal’s deepest and darkest secrets! Huh? What are they? They’re a secret, of course! I can’t go around thinking of all of Durandal’s most embarrassing moments! Ilya will read my mind, and then they won’t be a secret anymore. Durandal’s secrets are between him and me. No one else can know! Isn’t that right, Durandal? Uh….

“Durandal…?”

Shake, shake, shake.

Hmm…. Durandal seems to be really, really tired after that Soul Scouring session. It lasted a lot longer than usual Soul Scouring sessions, but it must’ve pooped him out, mhm. He’s just a bit tired. Mm? If he’s just a bit tired, then why are his eyes glazed over instead of closed? Well, he was too tired to close his eyes! A person’s eyes natural state is open instead of closed. That’s why all those bodies Ilya keeps around have their eyes open. …At least, that’s the explanation she gave to me. “Durandal, if you don’t wake up, I’m going to tell everyone your deepest, darkest secret.”

This might be more serious than I thought! “Ilya! I need you to…. What are you doing?” Why’s Baldie here? Ilya and Baldie seem to be having an intense staring contest. Gah, this isn’t the time for that!

“Sect Leader Fluffytail,” Baldie said, turning to me. “I have a question for you. Do you think you’re a good person?”

Huh? Why does she care about whether or not I’m a good person? I have to fix Durandal! But first…. “Of course, I’m obviously a good person!” Alright, I’ll dump Durandal onto Ilya. “Here, fix him.”

Baldie cleared her throat. “Why do you think you’re a good person?”

Why do I think I’m a good person…? Isn’t that such a dumb question? Why is water wet? Why is grass green? How am I supposed to explain something so obvious? …Is Baldie dumb? “I’m a good person because I don’t do bad things.” Mm, that’s the kind of explanation I would give Sophia. Even Baldie should be able to understand it, right?

“You don’t do bad things? I’ve read the books written about you. They’re—”

“Hold up!” The what? “There’s books written about me? How come I’ve never heard about this?”

Baldie’s forehead scrunched up. “When a particularly strong person appears, stories are always written about them.” Her eyes lit up. “My apologies. I forgot you weren’t one for reading. However, most stories are embellished, and the protagonists are always portrayed in a better light compared to reality. This story about you is embellished and tries to downplay the evil things you’ve done, but … you’re still a psychopathic monster in them.”

A psychopathic monster? Me? …Uh, what’s psychopathic mean again? Mm, it can’t be anything good! “Who’s the author? I’m going to beat him up and teach him a lesson!”

“See, that’s something a good person wouldn’t do,” Baldie said. “Tell me, why do you consider yourself a good person?”

“Because everyone says I’m a good person!” That’s right. If everyone says something is true, then it must be true. “Find me someone who says I’m not a good person, leave me in a room with them for a few minutes, and they’ll tell you I’m a good person the next time you ask them. There’s no one in the world who’ll dare call me a villain.”

Baldie stared at me. Was that doubt on her face? “But deep-down inside, you know you’re a bad person, right? You just like having people treat you like you’re not. It’s the same concept as renaming the Shadow Devil Sect into the Righteous Holy Sect.”

What the heck is Baldie saying? Mm, it’s too hard to communicate with her. She’s not even my child; why should I care if she’s wrong? Hmm, besides, where is Sophia? I thought I left her with Ilya…. Let’s see. If I sniff the air, I bet I can track her down. There! She’s … in a box of potatoes? “Ilya! What the hell did you do to my daughter!?”

“What? She’s sleeping right there, isn’t she?” Ilya looked up at me. “We were playing hide and seek, and she dozed off while hiding.”

Playing hide and seek with Sophia is fine, but…. “Why did you leave her in the box!?” What if she starts smelling like potatoes? Wait, no, what if she gets all achy when she wakes up?

“I didn’t want to disturb her sleep,” Ilya said without batting an eye. “Anyway, I don’t think I can fix Durandal. I’m not even sure how you broke him. I’m sure I sent the jade slip of his memories back inside him, but it’s not like he’s not responding because he lost his memories. It’s more like he lost his soul.”

The heck? Since when could Soul Scour damage people’s souls!? It’s…, oh, I guess it’s in the name of the technique…, but still! “Then what do we do? How do we fix him?” If only Durandal weren’t so stubborn! He could’ve told me all his secrets, and I definitely would’ve believed him. This is all his fault! “He’s not going to die, right?”

Ilya furrowed her brow. “Well, let’s just say he’s going to … be out of commission for a while?” She shrugged. “I don’t know of any precedence for this. Well, there is a precedence for Soul Scour turning people into drooling idiots, but there hasn’t been a precedence for weapon spirits.”

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Vir's Thoughts

This chapter is sponsored by Thomas N. and Brian N.. Thanks for the support!