There’s a lot of perverts in this world, but I never thought this man would be one of them. He’s part of the Morning Wood Sect! Usually, I’m very good at judging person based on how they look, and while this person in dark-green robes might look like someone who eats soup with a fork, he doesn’t look like a perv. Well, whatever, perv or not, I’m taking his stuff! …I’ll give the weird items to Softie. She’ll like them.
These people shouldn’t be a problem to beat up. None of them are making my tail stiff. There’s a whole bunch of them, but numbers don’t really mean anything. I have a super-powerful weapon: this bow, which I turned into a staff! When I get a new hammer from Ilya, I’ll give this bow to Sophia. It’ll be a great present! She might not have the strength to pull the string back and shoot arrows with it, but she can still use it to hit things. It’s very, very sturdy.
“I asked you what your name was.”
Ah? Is the person in green talking to me? Why? Right, he wanted to know my name! “It’s—”
“—Lie.” Ilya? Don’t change my answer like that! How come I have to lie about my name? I’m proud of it!
“Your name is Lie?”
“Lie about your name unless you want to put Sophia in danger.”
Sophia will be in danger if I don’t lie? “Yep! My name is Lie … Lyingtail! Mhm. Lie Lyingtail, the strongest person in the Immortal Continent.” Perfect! With such a great name, he’ll never figure out I’m tricking him. Mm? Did I just hear Ilya slapping her forehead? …Nah, I must’ve been hearing things.
“Senior Brother, I’ve asked around before coming here. The strongest person in this lower dimension is Lucia Fluffytail.”
The man in green stared at me. “So he says?”
“Uh, Lucia’s my twin. You know what, forget it.” Lying isn’t my thing! I prefer much more honest approaches like running up to people and bashing them over the head. Like this. “Flaming Staff Strike!” It’s a good thing I learned how to run on the air with my Footsteps of the Giant. Mm, flying works here, but for some reason, I run faster than I fly, so…. Anyways! I might not be a master at the staff, but it’s like a mix between a sword and a hammer. I grab the very end of the bow and swing it like a sword. When it makes contact with someone, there’s a satisfying crunch, much like a hammer.
The man in green stood there with a broken shoulder; it was on fire too. Alright, what’s with people not caring about being set on fire? First it was that furry man, now it’s this green pervert! I always thought Mrs. Feathers technique was awesome, but it’s really just so-so, huh? “Do the flames not bother you?”
“Wood gives birth to fire,” the man said. “It’s a fact of life. Why should I fear something I can easily create?”
I don’t understand. That makes no sense whatsoever. When wood burns, it dies! Time to teach this man what natural laws mean. “Flaming Staff Strike! Flaming Staff Strike! Flaming Staff Strike!” Mm…? “Okay, maybe you believe fire doesn’t hurt you, but those broken arms, ribs, and legs should be bothering you, right?”
The man smirked. “A tree can’t defend itself. It’s immobile and accepts everything that happens to it. Do you know why?”
Uh…. “Because no one cut it down yet?” I don’t like this person! He reminds me of Ilya and her leading questions! “Stop being so weird and speak normally, goddamn!”
“And why would I explain my techniques to you?” the man asked. It was really hard to tell what he was saying because there was a lot of crackling. He was burning like tinder, not like a person at all. Ahem. I only know how people burn like because of Mrs. Feathers, okay? “What are all of you waiting for? Are you hoping I can defeat her by myself?”
Mm? Ah! Everyone is launching a bunch of attacks at me! Let’s see if they can even break my Armor of Slaughter! It feels like I haven’t used it in a very long time. It tried to protect me from the furry man, but his stupid beam of light ignored it completely! Mm, these attacks tickle. There’s nothing to—ow!? “Hey! Which one of you shot that lightning bolt!?” That lightning just zapped my toe, and it really hurt! I’ll have to beat him up first.
The man in green suddenly split into three! His arms detached from his body! “Where are you going? Despairing Wood Bind!” His whole body turned into a cluster of roots. Is he a tree!? Alright, I’ll just bash my way out of here!
Bash, bash, bash! Break, break, break! Crack, snap, crunch! Uh, it feels like I’m getting nowhere. The roots are spreading so much that they’re practically blocking out the sky. Ah! There, to the left, a hole appeared in the barrier of roots. Gah! Lightning and other attacks are shooting in from there!
“Lucia! Do you only know how to hit things?”
What are you saying at a time like this, Ilya!? “Obviously!”
“You moron! You learned so many strong techniques; you even used them too, but after you got really strong, you completely stopped using them and bashed things with your hammer instead. Why did you learn those techniques in the first place then? You have your Tides of Blood and Despairing Blade, don’t you?”
Ilya’s right! I do have Tides of Blood and Despairing Blade! Why didn’t I think of using them against that furry man? Am I really a moron…? No! That can’t be it! Besides, I didn’t even need them to win in the first place. I still won against the furry man without using them, didn’t I? Hmph. Alright, I’ll teach these people to bully me with fancy techniques! I’ll bully them back! “Despairing Blade!”
Eyes and mouths appeared on the roots around me. “D-Despairing Blade? This—! This is our Mourning Wood Sect’s foundational technique! No one is able to master it; one can only gain insight from it! How can you possibly know it, much less execute it!?”
Eh? This technique is from the Morning Wood Sect? Could it be…? I’ve learned a perverted technique myself!?Previous Chapter Next Chapter