TGL Volume 3, Chapter 26 (1)

Is it really over this time? There’s not going to be another ball of lightning flying out of that door to smack me, right? There better not be! I thought I was going to die; there were so many lightning bolts that I lost count. There must’ve been at least a thousand. Mhm. A thousand is a lot, and there were a lot of lightning bolts, so there were at least a thousand lightning bolts. That’s how it works, right? Right. I would mock the heavens again, but I feel like if I do, it’ll zap me, so I won’t. Phew. I can barely move. There’s a giant open gate in the sky, but I don’t have the energy to fly through. I think I’ll take a nap…. Puppers and Durandal died to the tribulation, so they can’t protect me while I sleep. I’ll have Mrs. Feathers do that instead.

Hmm, wait a minute. Didn’t Durandal have a tribulation too? Does that mean he’s going to have another tribulation once he becomes an immortal? …I’m not going to think about it. Nope! Nuh-uh. It’s not going to happen. “Mrs. Feathers! Protect me while I sleep.” Alright. I’m pooped. Where’s my mattress, pillow, and blanket? Here they are. Mm, nice and comfy. “Goodnight.”



“Shut up! I’m sleeping!” Grr…, I barely put my head on my pillow, and people are trying to wake me up already! Who’s waking me up? Softie and Ilya? Hmph, if they won’t let me sleep, I’ll make them sleep with me. I’ll grab them and hug them and go to bed and ignore what they’re saying because I’m too tired to think right now. Ah, Softie’s really soft. I should hug her to sleep more often. It’s weird. Ilya’s not as soft as Softie despite both of them being people. Maybe Softie’s just weird?


“If I knew, I’d tell you. Stop asking.”

“I’m just worried about the gate in the sky. What if it disappears?”

“You’re the native. Why are you asking me?”

Hmm? Ooh, I feel much better now. My limbs aren’t sore anymore! Ah? “Why’s it so bright?” That’s really weird. The sky is dark, but it’s bright. The ground is dark, but the area around me is bright. Mm? It’s that gate again. It’s still shining light on me even though it’s nighttime. “How long was I asleep?”

“A week,” Softie said. “How are you feeling, Lucia? Do you mind letting me go? I’m very sore right now.”

I fell asleep for a week!? I swear I was only asleep for a few minutes! Ah, no wonder why my stomach’s uncomfortable. I’m starving! There’s still the giant wok with my turtle soup, but it’s gone a little cold…. I’ll heat it up! How did I activate the formation again? With squirrel blood? Oh, there’s my severed arm over there on the ground. I guess I could take some blood out of that. Eugh, it’s a little creepy to hold my own arm. It’s cold too, and the bloody end is a bit dried and black…. It should still work, right? Oh! I forgot Softie and Ilya were here. “Do you guys want some soup too? Well, you have to wait!”

Ilya cleared her throat and pointed up at the gate in the sky. “You know, if you step through that, you’ll become an immortal, right?”

Hmm…. “I’m not going through that gate!” It looks totally suspicious! I’ve heard people say they see the light when they’re about to die, and that’s definitely a light! If I go through, something bad is going to happen to me. That’s what my tail says. I bet it’s a trap. “It’s definitely a trap. It can’t be anything else.” If it wasn’t a trap, I’d want to go through, but I don’t, so it is. In fact, what I want right now is to drink my soup. Besides, I’m already really strong! And I swear drinking my soup made me even stronger. Doesn’t that mean I’m already as strong as an immortal? Why would I have to go through a gate? It doesn’t make any sense. You might be able to zap me with lightning, but you won’t be able to fool a genius like me, you stupid heavens!

“A trap?” Ilya frowned and stared up at the gate. It was floating there in the sky. It’s really weird. It’s like the clouds are another ground for the gateposts to rest on. The doors are open, but the inside is just filled with a bright light that I can’t see past. “It’s possible. Since so many sects have been ruined, the immortals that are restricted from coming down here will certainly take their anger out on you once you go up there.”

Um? “What? Why would they take their anger out on me?” Which sects have I ruined? I mean, I might’ve plundered a few sects by the Shadow Devil Sect, but those sects couldn’t have produced any immortals, right? Ah, there might be a few holy beast thingies who’re mad.

“Well, while your tribulation was happening, a bunch of quasi-immortals and higherups of the surrounding sects came to check it out.”

Mm? “Did they get zapped on accident?” There was that one time my tribulation accidentally destroyed a whole sect. It wasn’t my fault! It was an accident. Mhm. Definitely an accident.

“No.” Ilya shook her head. “I had my people beat them up and capture them. Then I forced them to sign contracts with me, and now they’re in the process of plundering their own sects. The immortals that belonged to those sects probably won’t be very happy once they find out.”

“…Wait. Why would the immortals be mad at me? You’re the one who’s plundering the sects! Wouldn’t they be mad at you!?”

Ilya cleared her throat. “Huh? This was your idea, remember? You wanted to plunder the other sects to see if they had the core of a world tree to make another virility pill to feed to Durandal. I’m only following your instructions.”

Did I tell Ilya to plunder all the other sects? I do remember wanting to make another virility pill since I had to feed one to Softie…. Then, was this really my idea? It might be…. That settles it! I’m definitely not going up there! No matter what happens, there’s no way in hell I’m stepping through that gate!

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