TGL Volume 3, Chapter 25 (3)

Turtle soup, turtle soup, I want some turtle soup. La, la, la. Ah, I haven’t had turtle in a really long time. In fact, I haven’t eaten anything in a really long time! If I really did cultivate for ten years, that is. Anyways, it feels like it’s been ten years since I’ve last eaten. What did I eat last? I’m not sure. I can’t remember. See? It’s been too long!

Mm, what should I add? The main ingredient is turtle…. Well, butter is always nice! I’ve got lots of aurochs butter. Mm, this wok is pretty large. I think three barrels should be enough…, maybe four. Yeah, I’ll add four just in case. Extra butter never killed anyone. Now that the wine is boiling and the butter’s melting, the turtle’s still not reacting. This formation is working, right? That’s odd. Is the turtle dead or something? Anything being boiled alive should have some reaction, no? I mean, I would’ve killed it before boiling it, but I can’t hurt it! If I could hurt it, I wouldn’t’ve had to use a roundabout manner like destroying the river to store it in my pouch in the first place.

“Is, is the guardian beast dead?” The old man was watching me cook. I didn’t really mind since people have always watched me cook; I’m a bit afraid of him falling inside the wok. But he’s strong, so that shouldn’t be a problem, right? “Why isn’t it reacting to such an offense? It took a lot of spiritual damage during its encounter with that dreadful beast, but it shouldn’t be this unaware of its surroundings.”

Mm, well, as long as it doesn’t struggle, I don’t care! No matter what anyone says or does, tonight, I’m eating turtle soup. Mhm. Let’s see. Butter? Check. Turtle? Check. Salt? Pepper? Mm, I have to add those. I’ll just fly over the wok and sprinkle some over the turtle’s shell and spread it all throughout the wine. I … probably need a lot of salt and pepper. Maybe these squirrels cooked lots of beasts at a time. It’s a bit empty for only one. I have lots of aurochsen I can add, but then it’d be an aurochs soup with some turtle instead of turtle soup with some aurochs. Oh wells.

I’m lucky turtle soup is so simple to make. I just need turtle. Some wine. Some seasoning. Some acorn flour. Okay, maybe lots of acorn flour. Eggs? Do I have any eggs…? Nope. That’s odd; I thought I did. Mm, the Immortal Continent isn’t anything like the pocket realm. When I robbed people back at home, there’d always be food, but here, when I take someone’s stuff, they never have any food except for rice. These cultivators really have to learn how to treat themselves better, so I can have more stuff when I rob them. Hmph. Anyways, let’s add some broth…. Do I even have enough broth to fill this wok? …I don’t! I guess I can substitute it with acorn ale…. Yeah, that should work.

“Lucia. Why do you have so much alcohol?”

“I met this barkeep, and he started accompanying me, but I thought it’d be a waste to leave his tavern behind, so I took all his drinks.” That’s right; all of this alcohol is from the barkeep. Isn’t it funny how it works out? Ilya’s asking where I got the alcohol from when it’s her fault I wanted to even drink some in the first place. Ah! I’m supposed to be mad at her, but she gave me good deeds to do…. Speaking of which, there’s that tree with the super delicious acorns! I’ll add those to the soup.

“Is that a soul-devouring tree!?”

“No.” It’s not. Such a good acorn-producing tree can’t be so evil as to devour souls.

“I’m sure it is!” The old man seemed really anxious for some reason. “Don’t tell me you kept the injured guardian beast in the same life pouch as it.”

“Uh….” I have lots of life pouches, but I’m pretty sure I put the turtle in the same one as the tree…. “What happens if I did?”

“The tree will devour the guardian beast’s soul and grow stronger! Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be able to do anything, but the guardian beast was suffering from a serious injury.”

Oh, no wonder why the turtle’s dead. The tree ate its soul? Hmm…. Well, that still works! If it converted the turtle’s soul into these acorns, then I’ll simply add some acorns to the soup. The turtle’s soul will reunite with its body inside of my belly. Aren’t I generous? Anyways, now that I finished adding everything that was going to go inside, I have to stir it. Where am I going to find a large ladle…? If I use my hammer, then it’ll be all disgusting to hold…. Oh! The pillar! I can use that golden pillar I picked up in the treasury. It’s not really a ladle, but it can make a decent stirring rod.

“Are you really planning on eating the guardian beast…?”

“Obviously?” Is this old man stupid? He seemed pretty smart at first…, so how did he become so dumb? If I’m cooking the turtle, I’m going to eat the turtle. I don’t know why I’m craving turtle so much. Right! It’s for the feather to become an immortal. Once I eat this turtle cooked by this wok, I’ll become an immortal. I can feel it. It might be a bit tricky though…. I’m not sure how I’ll break apart its shell to eat. Ah, I’ll worry about it after it’s done cooking. All I have to do is let this sit until half of the broth is dissolved. Hmm? The old man seemed to have been saying something, but I wasn’t really paying attention. Oh wells. Stir, stir, stir. Turtle soup, turtle soup, I want some turtle soup. Mm, I should give it a quick taste test. It tastes like … turtle-flavored alcohol. I guess it hasn’t sat for long enough yet. I’m sure it’ll become more turtle and less alcohol soon.

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