TGL Volume 3, Chapter 10 (2)

“Boss! There’s people outside who’re looking for you!”

Mm? Looking for me? Why would they be looking for me? Don’t tell me, is it the immortals that Softie told me would hunt me down if they found out I was a squirrel? No, that’s probably not it. If I were an immortal, I wouldn’t knock on the door to tell someone I was looking for them. I’d break their roof and kidnap them! Eh? I’d do that even if I wasn’t an immortal? Of course! That just means immortals are more likely to do it because they’re stronger! Wait a minute…. “Aren’t we on a flying boat? How are they outside?”

“They’re also on a flying boat.”

“Oh.” I knew that. “Why are they looking for me? Are they trying to sell me something? If they aren’t, tell them to leave. Oh, if they’re trying to rob us, they can stay too.”

“Got it, Boss.”

Once the barkeep left, Ilya turned to look at me. It’s weird when she’s not doing smart stuff in her lab. But that’s okay. It’s nice that she’s spending time with me instead. “Why do you want people to sell you stuff?”

“If they’re going door to door to sell things, then those things must be unique!” Right? If they were selling any old thing that could be found in the market, then no one would buy what they’re selling. “And if they’re here to rob us, then I can rob them back in the name of justice.” Because that’s what good people do!

“Boss.” The barkeep came back into my room. “They’re from the Slaughter Seeking Sect, and when I told them you would only talk to them if they were here to sell you something or rob you, they pulled some random items out of their interspacial ring and said they were going to sell it. Do you want to talk with them still?”

Eh…. Is this a loophole? But maybe the stuff they’re selling is unique! “Yep, tell them to come in.”

“I’m a bit surprised they came peacefully,” Ilya said. “They must not be confident in defeating you; otherwise, they would’ve forcefully seized the crown.” Ilya pointed at the crown on my head. “Speaking of which, aren’t you going to perform the inheritance ritual?”

“Inheritance ritual?” There was an inheritance ritual? How come I didn’t know about it? “What’s that?”

“…Don’t you remember what you read? You know, yesterday? When I taught you how to read…?”

Oh..., that. Right. “Nope! I don’t remember at all!” I can’t be blamed for not remembering! Reading is very, very difficult. I have to use all my brainpower to do it. And if all my brainpower is spent on reading, how am I supposed to also remember what I read? No one can do two things with their mind at once. It’s simply impossible! “Mm, isn’t that why I told you to write down what I said so you could tell me later? Why are you only reminding me now?”

Ilya stared at me. Then she took out a piece of paper. “For the inheritance ritual, you have to wear the crown and kill three thousand people.”

“…That’s a lot of people.” What kind of evil item did I inherit? It actually wants to turn me into a murderer? …I have the answer. When Durandal revives, I’ll make him wear the crown and have him kill three thousand people for me. Mhm. That makes the most sense. But since he’s still dead, and probably will be for the next week or two, I’ll wear the crown! It looks nice on me, and there’s no reason not to. “Mm. I’ll worry about it in two weeks or whatever. First, I should take the Despair God’s and Death God’s inheritances!” That’s right. What if those crowns also want me to do stuff? Like kill three thousand people and send three thousand people into despair? I might as well do them all at once! Err, I mean, I should let Durandal do them all at once!

“Boss, they’re here.” The barkeep came into the room, and behind him, there were five people, four men and one woman who may also be a man in disguise. They didn’t look old, but they didn’t seem young. They must’ve been around my age! How old am I? Eighteen! I’m forever eighteen! I’m not a thirty-something-year-old spinster! Who said that!?

“Junior greets Senior Fluffytail,” one of the men said. He glanced at Ilya and shifted his gaze back onto me. Mm? Could he tell Ilya wasn’t actually Ilya? That’s impossible. He’s never met the real Ilya before. “Shall we have a private discussion?”

Private discussion? “Are you selling me a treasure?” Is it so valuable that no one else can know or people will try to rob me to take it!? This is dangerous! Wait a minute, isn’t that like the crown on my head? The barkeep was saying a lot of people would want it….

Ilya cleared her throat. “I think he wants me and the barkeep to leave the room.”

“No!” I grabbed Ilya before she could go. “If you leave, how am I supposed to not get scammed!?” I might be smart and intelligent, but Ilya is definitely better at extorting people than I am because she’s coldhearted!

“We’re not here to sell you anything…,” the man said, not giving Ilya any time to say something. “We’re—”

If they aren’t here to sell me something, and if I told the barkeep to only let them in if they were trying to sell me something or rob me, then…. “You’re here to rob me!?” Mm, that must be it. Let’s take my hammer out and….

“Wait! We’re not here to rob you either!”

“…Eh?” If they’re not here to sell me anything…, and if they’re not here to rob me…. “You’re bad people!” They must’ve tricked the barkeep into letting them in! And liars can’t be trusted. “Out! Out with you!” Mm. I hit them with the hammer—lightly—and they flew outside the room through the wall. Who said I needed practice to control my strength? I hit them gently enough to send them outside without injuring them! Hmm? The crown feels warm all of a sudden? Why’s that? Hmmmm. Must be my imagination.

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