TGL Volume 3, Chapter 6 (4)

Ah…. It’s been a relaxing month! I didn’t do anything but drink, eat, and have s**. For some reason, Durandal’s pampering me, and it feels great! But it feels like I’m forgetting something, but that’s totally okay because this is bliss, and I’m sure I wanted to forget something in particular, and if I can’t recall what I wanted to forget, then I succeeded. Mhm. I accomplished a very important task during this month. Just because I can’t remember what that task was doesn’t mean it hasn’t been done! Ah? I’m talking nonsense? No, no. This is completely different from me doing bad things that I don’t remember. Those things don’t happen. Mm. There’s a subtle difference between the two. I can’t explain it, but it’s there.

“Boss, are you awake?”

Ah? That’s the barkeep. For some reason, he calls me boss now. “I’m awake!”

The door to my room opened, and the barkeep came in with a tray of food. “Boss, today’s the day the Slaughter God’s Tomb opens. Are you ready?”

That’s right. Durandal wanted me to raid the tomb. It’s opening today?


…And this voice has been getting noisier and noisier. At least it’s easy to ignore.

The day of slaughter has come!

Yeah, yeah, okay. “I’m ready! Do I need to bring anything special?”

“No, everything you’ll ever need, my Long family will provide it for you,” the barkeep said. “In fact, the flying boat is outside, ready to go. We’re just waiting on you.”

“Mm. Okay.” In return for taking care of me, giving me drinks and food and this nice bed to have s** with Durandal on, the Long family only wants one thing. They want me to assist their people in the Slaughter God’s Tomb if possible. And since I’m going to the tomb already, and since I’m an extremely good person who goes out of her way to help others, they’re practically asking for nothing at all! Ah? A good person wouldn’t take advantage of their family like this for the cheap cost of nothing? Nonsense! Only a fool would deny free stuff.

The Long family’s flying boat is big. I think it’s a little bigger than the one the Shadow Devil Sect used. Well, I still have bigger boats, but those use up a lot of spirit stones. And I have to save my spirit stones whenever possible because…, because…, because I like being rich! Mm. That’s a good reason. And when there’s another boat available to use that I don’t have to pay to operate, then I’ll use that boat instead. They’re giving me the best room in it too. It’s a little smaller than the room they were keeping me in, but all that matters is the bed is comfy! And there’s still a bell I can ring to summon servants to bring me whatever I want.

“Boss,” the barkeep said. Mm? He didn’t leave after bringing me here? “My father told me to answer any questions you might have about the tomb before you started drinking. Actually…, he told me to try to stop you from drinking today as it might be dangerous at the tomb….”

“Dangerous?” What? This is my first time hearing about danger! Wasn’t the tomb just a place with free treasures to take? “Gah! Those dumb dead people! Why do they boobytrap their graves when they’re already dead?” Selfish jerks. Hmph.

“The tomb itself isn’t that dangerous, it’s the people that enter the tomb that you have to watch out for,” the barkeep said. “The Slaughter God left behind his inheritance in his tomb, but he set up many trials that have to be cleared first. His tomb’s been around for seven hundred years, but no one has obtained it yet. The trials are surprisingly peaceful for being created by someone who has slaughter in his name, and they won’t kill you if you fail them. However, during the trials, the other competitors who enter the tomb will viciously attack you to make you fail. And if you’re not careful, you may even die.”

“…Let’s go home, Durandal.”

“What, why?”

Why? “Because I don’t want to die, stupid!”

“Why are you so scared?” Durandal asked and appeared beside me. He’s been hiding in his sword a lot, only coming out when I’m about to remember something that I think is important…. What was it again? “If people try to kill you, all you have to do is kill them first.”

Yes! Slaughter! Slaughter everyone!

…I feel like I’m surrounded by bad influences. “What do you think, Mrs. Feathers?” Mrs. Feathers might be a bird, but she’s pretty smart. Maybe she’s part crow. Anyways, she isn’t as smart as Ilya, but she’s good at making decisions. She even knows how to read! “Is it going to be dangerous?”

Mrs. Feathers gave me a strange look. “Boss…. I can freely roam about the continent without fear of being defeated unless I encounter an immortal.”

“And that means….” Hmm. Mrs. Feathers is that strong? “Then that means you’ll protect me! Looks like I was worrying for nothing.” Phew. I knew I shouldn’t’ve listened to this barkeep. He’s always exaggerating his stories.

Mrs. Feathers was still looking at me strangely. If only her face wasn’t a bird’s…. “Yes, I’ll protect you, Boss….”

The barkeep cleared his throat. “I’ve brought a list of people you have to watch out for. My father originally told me to give you a jade slip, but I know how much you hate those, so I transcribed them onto a scroll. Of course, I know you also can’t read, so I went out to gather information and drew pictures of them instead.” The barkeep handed me a scroll, and it really was filled with drawings! “I’ve highlighted the people whose faces you must memorize because they’re rogue cultivators who don’t belong to any sect. The others, you can just memorize their robes, and that should be enough.”

“…Why are there so many rogue cultivators?” There’s at least three of them! How am I supposed to memorize all these faces!?

“They’re tomb hunters. They go from country to country, province to province, exploring tombs to get the treasures inside. It’s a profitable business, I hear. Even though a high-class tomb like the Slaughter God’s Tomb only opens every hundred years or so, there’s enough of these tombs that there’s guaranteed to be one open every month.” The barkeep nodded. “And the people that I’ve highlighted have explored over ten tombs each. They definitely know their way around tombs and people alike; thus, they’re the ones you have to watch out for the most. They might not be able to defeat you in combat, but you have to watch out for their underhanded tricks.”

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