TGL Volume 3, Chapter 5 (6)

As I thought, whenever people tell stories, they always exaggerate! The barkeep wanted to make himself look good, telling me his fiancée was an unparalleled beauty. But if she’s an unparalleled beauty, then I should be called a goddess! Mm, okay, maybe that’s a bit vain and not true, but it’s close enough! She’s only a tiny bit more pretty than me, but she’s way uglier than Softie. …Did I just insult myself? Um…. Hmm. “No way! Softie’s only a little better-looking than me; that means, this fiancée is way uglier than I am!”

Ah? This fuzzy feeling is a heart devil being planted. But why are there two? There’s one from the fiancée and one from … the barkeep!?

“Dear customer! Why are you provoking the Slaughter Seeking Sect!?” The barkeep was still sitting against the wall. He was bleeding. Shouldn’t he be standing, ready to serve me alcohol at any time? How’s he going to serve me alcohol if his arms are broken? The barkeep looked at me. Then he looked at his fiancée. “Mo Yan, I suggest you come again another day.”

Mo Yan and Long Chen, why are these names so weird? They’re even stranger than the people who named themselves after forests and skies and fires and stuff. Like Soft Moonlight. I’m not sure which name is stranger. “But Mo Yan is a pretty weird name. It doesn’t even mean anything!” Ah? Does Lucia mean something? Of course! Lucia means the bestest and cutest squirrelkin girl in the world! Mm? There might be other squirrelkin named Lucia?

Not if you slaughter them all!

Not if I slaughter them all! …Wait a minute; I’m being tricked again! I almost fell for it! Thankful, I’m smart. “If I was someone like Long Chen…, whew, I don’t even want to think about it! He’s too weak. Mm, but he’s a spoiled bastard, and I wouldn’t have minded living like one….” But I’d rather be strong! If I’m strong, I can spoil myself by taking other people’s stuff. Right. It’s way better to be strong.

“Slaughter Seeking Slash!”

Eh!? Someone’s attacking me!? A sword is slashing right at me, but … my tail isn’t reacting at all? I get it! The attack’s not really aimed at me; this old man is pretending to attack me, but he’s going to change his target to Long Chen at the last second! I’m so smart; who needs Ilya anyways! Not me. The sword’s coming closer and closer. Any second now, it’ll change directions and—

Boink.

“Eh?” What the hell!? This old man tricked me! He was supposed to attack Long Chen, but he actually attacked me! But…. “Is this a toy sword?” Why would he attack me with a toy sword? Ah, that’s why my tail didn’t react. It’s because it was a fake weapon! I feel silly now. It must be the alcohol. Mm. I’ll blame it on the alcohol. Alcohol, according to the soldiers who beat me up for fun, absolves all sins! As long as you don’t remember doing something bad, then you didn’t do anything bad! So, if I’m going to do something bad, then all I have to do is drink first! Mhm, sounds about right. “Barkeep! Alcohol! …Ah, wait, your arms are broken.” Then…. “Mrs. Feathers! Alcohol!”

“…I don’t even have any arms.”

“Is that a talking chicken!?” Mo Yan pointed at Mrs. Feathers. “Slaughter Elder, please, help me obtain it!”

“F***! You dare call this noble phoenix a chicken!? Your mother’s a chicken! Your father’s a chicken! Your fiancé’s a chicken! Your whole family’s a bunch of chickens!” Mrs. Feathers grew in size, and the ceiling of the tavern was pushed away. It tilted up and toppled over outside towards the wall with the … hole in it? Why was there a wall with a person-shaped hole in it? Wouldn’t that let bugs in during the summer? And did someone just scream as if a roof fell on top of them? …Nah. I must be hearing things.

Ah!? My alcohol’s on fire! “Mrs. Feathers! Stop! You’re ruining my drink!”

Mrs. Feathers closed her beak, and the heat vanished, but my alcohol was still burning. “Sorry, Boss.” Mrs. Feathers looked like she…, uh, I still can’t read bird faces. “Boss, if you won’t let me incinerate them, then you have to beat them up for me! It’s the duty of the boss to take care of her underlings!”

“Eh? Beat them up yourself; just don’t set my alcohol on fire!” Asking me, a nice person to beat people up? I’d never do such a thing!

“Lucia.”

Ah! I almost forgot Durandal was here. “Yes, Durandal?”

“These people are from the Slaughter Seeking Sect.”

It was hard to hear Durandal over the people’s screams. “Mrs. Feathers! Beat them up more quietly! If they scream, stuff their mouths with their socks!” I went to refill my cup of no-longer-burning alcohol, but it seemed like the barrel was empty. Did I really drink that much? “Barkeep, refill! Anyways, you were saying, Durandal?”

“Why not—”

“Boss! This girl isn’t wearing socks!”

Don’t interrupt Durandal for something so stupid, Mrs. Feathers! “Then use her panties!”

“Got it, Boss!”

I looked at Durandal, and he continued. “Why not join their sect and learn all their secrets? No, that’s not right. Why not loot their sect and take all their secrets? Since they have slaughter in their name, their cultivation methods should be extremely beneficial for you, someone following the Unrelenting Path of Slaughter. This sect, along with the Slaughter God’s Tomb, is probably the reason your heart of slaughter told you to come here.”

“I don’t recommend you do that,” the barkeep said. He was close to me, using his head and legs to refill my barrel with alcohol. “The Slaughter Seeking Sect, the Despair Seeking Sect, and the Death Seeking Sect are the three strongest sects of Huang Country. Their branches extend to all its provinces and thousands of counties. Everything in Huang Country is decided by these three sects. For someone as strong as you, joining them wouldn’t be a bad idea, but you definitely can’t loot them!”

Previous Chapter Next Chapter