TGL Volume 2, Chapter 23 (4)

Gah! Damned Durandal! That stupid, stupid idiot! He forced me to spar with him for three days straight! Well, he let me eat in between rounds, but still. Three days! Then he didn’t even have s** with me before I went to sleep! What was the point of bringing him back!? I, I’m going to…, gah! I can’t even do anything to him because he’s too strong! This is frustrating. Very, very frustrating.

“L-Lucia. Y-you’re being rougher than usual.”

Ah. Woops. I forgot I was squeezing Softie as stress relief. Wait, why is she in my bed? Did I bring her here? I can’t remember. Hmm. I was dueling Durandal…, then I fell asleep. Maybe I did? Eh, it doesn’t matter. This is all Durandal’s fault! This…, this can’t be allowed to continue. At this rate, I’ll be dragged along by every one of Durandal’s crazy whims. “Softie.”


“I … want to take a bath in the impurity-cleansing pool.” People kept telling me I’d grow stronger without impurities, but I always ignored them because I was strong enough. I can’t do that anymore!

Softie’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Really!?” She covered her mouth with her hands and blinked twice before exhaling. “All this time I tried to convince you to lose impurities…. It hasn’t been wasted.”

Well, it wasn’t really Softie’s convincing that made me make up my mind. It’s the fact that I’ll do anything to become stronger than Durandal at this point, even face my greatest fear of water. The world isn’t right when I’m not stronger than Durandal. He’s not even teaching me anything anymore! He’s sparring me to vent his frustrations. I know because I do it to Puppers all the time. Hmph.

“W-wait. I have another method to remove some of your impurities,” Softie said and placed her hands on my shoulders. We were still lying down on the mattress with a blanket covering our lower halves. Hmm? I’m pretty sure I didn’t fall asleep with a blanket on. Mm. Oh wells. “D-do you trust me?”

Softie looks … off…. What’s she planning on doing to me? “Is it going to hurt?” It better not hurt! And it better not be throwing me into a lake. Eh? Her face is getting awfully close. What’s she…? Is she…? Oi! Softie! “If you get any closer, we’ll—!”

“L-Lucia?” Softie whispered. Her face was super red. Her neck was super red too. And the bit of skin that showed underneath her robes was the same shade. She…. Did she just—!? “T-t-t-that was the impurity-cleansing technique of the Seducing Succubus Sect! P-please don’t misunderstand!”

“But you put your tongue inside!” Surely the technique’s not that deviant, right!? If I had known Softie was going to learn something like this, I wouldn’t have given her the technique in the first place! This…, this…, is it cheating? Does it count as cheating if I kissed Softie?

“T-the technique requires a thorough swapping of saliva.” Softie’s face was even redder than before. She withdrew her hand and clutched her chest. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. “T-there’s a lot of impurities inside you. I have to circulate the technique properly.” She sat up and crossed her legs before placing her hands on her lap, one over the other with her thumbs touching. Her robes were turning transparent because of how much she was sweating. Maybe I do have a lot of impurities….

But Softie’s suffering so much because of me! She wanted to help me remove my impurities, so she took some for herself…. This isn’t cheating! I can’t believe I thought Softie would have impure thoughts about me. I’m sorry for doubting you, Softie! …But I’m a little hungry after that nap. If I ate now, wouldn’t all the impurities that Softie removed be replaced? She’s such a great friend! By taking away some of my impurities, she’s allowing me to eat without feeling any guilt! Not that I feel guilt normally, but still. Now I’ll feel even less guilt. What’s for breakfast…? Aurochs. Of course.

“Eating again, Lucia?”

Durandal? Gah! He’s back! I mean, yay! He’s back…? Do I really mean that? Why do I feel so conflicted about seeing Durandal again? It’s because he’s a dirty selfish bastard, isn’t it? Mm. That must be it. And what the heck does he mean by eating again? “What are you trying to say?” That I’m fat? I’m not fat! These meals turn straight into qi and energy! It takes a lot of energy for my brain to work so smartly. I don’t get fat!

“Hmm. Nothing?” Durandal smiled and raised an eyebrow. “I was just making an observation.”

“Don’t insinuate my fatness!”

“No, no, you’re not fat at all,” Durandal said and shook his head while smiling. “You’re just … well fed?”

I’m going to kill him. “Unrelenting Path of Slaughter: Tides of Blood! Tides of Blood! Tides of Blood!” Turn into an ocean of blood, dammit! Drown this smiling bastard like a rat! I worked my ass off to bring him back, to fulfill his nonsensical wishes, and this is how he repays me? When I become stronger than him, I’m going to lock him up in a dungeon and strip him of his freedom! “Grah! Breaking Madness Hammer Strike!”

…This isn’t fair. Why did I give him that sky-realm-ranked sword!? It cuts through everything: my Tides of Blood, my hammer strikes, my pride and dignity…. Dammit, Durandal! I’ll smash you to death! “Stop resisting!”

“An enemy won’t go easy on you just because you ask nicely,” Durandal said with his sadistic smile plastered all over his fat f***ing face. Gah! Don’t pretend to be teaching me when you’re trying to cut my tail off with your sword! “It seems like I still have a lot to teach you.”

…I’m going to cry. He’s an inhuman devil! This mean bully! Stupid dummy Durandal! Once he’s done with me, the only thing left will be despair. Despair…. Despair? That weird tablet taught me a technique that had despair in it, didn’t it? What was it called again? Right, the Despairing Blade.

“Putting your hammer away? Did you give up?” Durandal paused as I took out my sword. “Mm. That’s right. I taught you how to fight with the sword, didn’t I?”

Grrr. Alright. This Despairing Blade better be impressive! I got it after having a massive spike shoved into my head; if it’s not strong…, I’ll probably cry. This is so frustrating! “Despairing Blade!” Ah? Did a cloud pass over the sun? Did it become nighttime? It’s so dark! But it’s still afternoon. Maybe I fainted after using the technique and woke up a few hours later? I don’t think so…. Hmm? Is someone sobbing?

Out of nowhere, Durandal appeared in front of me, lit up by some lights underneath his feet. Tears were streaming from his eyes, and his sword was nowhere to be seen. “Lucia…,” Durandal said and hugged me, burying his face deep into my chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please, put your sword away. We can talk it over.”

…What the f*** is going on?

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