Chapter 151: I need you in my life
My fists were clenched. “You don’t understand? Allow me to make it clearer. You told Suyang Xu Chuqiao had sent someone to investigate you. So, you wanted him to keep an eye out for me. But you had no idea that the person would be someone who he had dated before. Suyang told you he knows me. As long as you “accidentally” told me about your past and begged me after, I’ll soften and decide to keep the secret hidden forever. You’ll be able to get what you want and also use me to help you get rid of the misunderstanding between you and Xu Chuqiao. Na Wei’s letter would be the key for helping you mend your relationship with your son, am I correct?”
It has been three years. Suyang wasn’t the only one who could speculate. He can’t manipulate me like he used to.
Yao Youfan sighed and touched her heart. She regretfully stated, “You’re actually quite different from Suyang’s description of you.”
“The person he thought I was is gone. I’m no longer the person I was three years ago.”
“So what is your next step?”
“I will tell my client that the will is real. I will tell him everything without missing a word. This is my job. I am devoted to my occupation.”
“Do you know what happens if you go against me? It’s not something you can handle.”
To me, Yao Youfan’s words sounded very childish. This wasn’t some gangster movie. “You’re not the first person who’ve tried to threaten me. People in my field are often threatened. Anyhow, I’m going to leave now. If I were you, I would think of a countermeasure to deal with Xu Chuqiao’s interrogation instead.”
I left the blank Yao Youfan where she was and left emotionlessly.
When I left the house, I realized I was still wearing a scarf around my face….surprisingly I was able to put up such a powerful act with my ridiculous appearance. I roughly removed the scarf off my face and angrily stared at my mirror’s reflection.
Suyang! Humph… I had underestimated him. I almost fell into his trap again. For a moment, I actually considered hiding the truth for Yao Youfan. It would’ve been what he wanted. Knowing this, I felt a burning anger.
I violently kicked an empty can by my feet. The sound of metal crashing against a wall rang in my ear.
Could he have gotten back with me to help Yao Youfan? Suyang actually lied to me for her. Perhaps he wasn’t what he said he was. Maybe he still hated me and wanted to get revenge.
My mind was a mess. I didn’t have any written evidence, but I took out the recording device from my pocket. It was running the whole time. I finally turned it off. Earlier, I turned it on the moment Yao Youfan entered the house.
My hands were shaky. I completed my task, but my heart was suffering. I was experiencing the feeling of loss from three years ago. It was slowly devouring my flesh, blood, and spirit.
In the afternoon, I went to Xu Chuqiao's office and submitted my report to him. I told him the truth about the will and gave him the USB recording of my conversation with Yao Youfan. It didn’t matter whether he believed me or not. I had completed my mission.
Now, whatever that happens in the Xu family was no longer my issue. It was Xu Chuqiao who wanted to find out. He had to take responsibility for his decision. As for me, I had my own issues to deal with.
It was nighttime. I silently sat on the couch and waited for Suyang to return home. I didn’t turn on any lights. Perhaps, my heart was only able to seek peace in the darkness.
Earlier in the afternoon, I was furious when I had figured out the truth. But I’ve calmed down a lot since then.
I’m much better! Much better now! It’s fine. It’s fine! I comforted myself.
After reflecting deeply, I decided to let this go.
Wasn’t it strange? I was betrayed by my lover… initially, I had wanted to pack everything and leave. But the moment I picked up the luggage, I realized the thought of losing Suyang again was more painful than the betrayal itself.
Women. We are such emotional creatures.
I could hear the password being pressed. But, the door didn’t open. Instead, Suyang started to knock on the door. He probably knew what happened earlier today.
Honestly, we were both stressed and didn’t know how to face each other. But I’ve already decided. I wasn’t sure what Suyang had in mind though.
“I’ll give you this one chance… you better grasp it….” I whispered. Then, I stood in front of the door. I didn’t make any incentive to open the door. Instead, I yelled, “Come in yourself.”
Suyang sounded surprise. “You are ok if I enter?”
“Do you want to enter?”
“Please give me a chance to explain myself.”
I sighed and leaned against the door. “What do you want to explain? Yao Youfan or our issue?”
Suyang was speaking to me from the other side of the door. It was actually effective because it sounded like he was very apologetic. “I'm sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who’s wrong. I trusted you like a fool.”
“I just wanted everyone to have their desired outcome. That’s why…”
“That’s why you used me?” I cut Suyang off. “The whole world could use me or lie to me and I could choose to forgive or hate the person. But Suyang, you can’t lie to me. When it comes to you, I have no power.”
Suyang tapped the door with a rhythm. “I wasn’t using you. I just wanted to solve this issue in the best way possible. However, I realized my method was wrong and I’ve hurt you.”
Oh… my personality is too rushed! I can’t hold it in anymore. Being separated by the door was giving me too much anxiety.
I suddenly twisted the door knob. The moment I opened the door, I was faced with Suyang’s distressed pupils. I quickly turned and avoided his gaze. “Enter and talk.”
Suyang followed behind me.
“Why did you lie to me? For the past few days, you were helping Yao Youfan all along, right? How can I decipher what you said was true or not?”
“I didn’t do it intentionally. Do you remember the day we met? I was called in by the chairman. She told me the new hiree was Xu Chuqiao’s eyes. She wanted me to keep an eye on you.”
“Continue.” The whole time, my back was facing Suyang.
“As for everything else, you already know. But everything I’ve said to you is the truth. I admit that I was trying to solve the problem by assuming you were still the same person you were three years ago. But three years have gone by, and I’ve forgotten that we’ve both changed.”
I bit my lips and trembled a little. “Yes, we’ve changed. What do you think of the current Lin Yixin?”
“Then what do you think of the current me?”
I spread out my hands. “I was able to see through your plan. That means, I understand you. You were like this in the past. You didn’t change much. If anything, I’ve become more sensitive.”
“So you’re saying…..” Suyang stood in front of me and grabbed my hand.
“I only want to know one thing. Please think about it deeply before you reply. Suyang, do you actually love me or hate me? Everything is so blurred that I can’t tell the difference. Like I’ve said, the whole world could lie to me, but you can’t. I can forgive the whole world, but I wouldn’t want to forgive you.” I gazed into Suyang’s eyes. I’ve never been more sincere and serious than this.
“I feel the same way. You should understand that both love and hate are very intense and twisted emotions. I admit when I first saw you, I felt hatred. I recalled the woman who left without saying a word. But the hatred only lasted for a second. Afterwards, aside from missing you every passing second, I was loving you. Sometimes, I feel like such a pathetic person. Why do I hang myself on your tree? But I cannot control myself. I think I really need you in my life.”
After Suyang was done speaking, I didn’t say anything else. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. No more words were necessary. It was enough as long as he loved me.
Love was powerful enough to dissolve all our unpleasant conflicts. Some may say I am a stupid woman. But I am willing to be stupid for Suyang.
Suyang seemed surprised by my initiation. “So…..”
“I’m only giving you this one chance because I love you.” I told Suyang in his face.
Suyang lifted me up and carried me into the bedroom.
Just as he was at his peak of desire, I suddenly shoved me away. I gave him a cunning smile. “Today, you’re sleeping by yourself. I’m going to sleep in the living room.”
“What?!” Suyang was stunned. It was as if his eyes were yelling. “We’re at this stage and you’re going to make me sleep alone?”
I patted Suyang’s face. “I forgive you for the Yao Youfan issue, but to prevent you from doing this again, I have to give you a light punishment. Be good. Goodnight!” Then, I strutted out of the bedroom and lay on the couch.
As expected, in less than three seconds, Suyang came over and whined, “Are you really going to treat me like this? Didn’t you say you love me?”
“You’re a man. You can’t even handle such a small test? This is good training for you… go go go! Return to your room or I’ll look down on you!” I turned over and faced the couch.
“It’s because I’m a man! That’s why I can’t handle this type of test! Can’t you just pity me…..” Suyang kept trying to turn my face around. He kept rubbing his face against mine and poking me with his hair.
I kicked him off the couch and saw his depressed back view. It was a great feeling.
I casually lifted my leg on the couch as I stared at Suyang’s bedroom. I could imagine how much he was suffering. In less than five minutes, Suyang came out again and went to the bathroom.
I could hear him taking a shower. I chuckled underneath the blanket.
Soon, the sound of water stopped and I could hear the door opening. Suddenly, I felt the couch sinking a bit around my feet. I assumed Suyang had finished showering and sat down.
The sound of television began to blast in the darkness. I lowered the blanket a bit and took a peek. The moment I saw the scene before me, I ducked back into my blanket.
What the heck?! What type of person watches TV naked?
Before I could process more, Suyang began tugging the blanket at my feet.