Chapter 409: Three years are very difficult
Some problems just had to be voiced out. Otherwise, there would be no way of living this day through.
Xu Tingsheng hesitated for a while before shamelessly saying in a tone of imparting wisdom to Little Xiang Ning, “So, Little Xiang Ning, I want to tell you that you’re still young, so there may be many things that you don’t really understand. Still, if it’s like this...I’ll be in a lot of agony. I’m a 21-year-old male, and I love you…do you get what I mean? What if, and I mean if, I end up making a mistake and hurt you? So, this actually isn’t fine. You’ve got to be especially on your guard, really.”
There was actually something that he had to withhold, which was...maybe it’d be fine if we didn’t before, but we clearly did! Those blissful days-Xu Tingsheng remembered every part of Xiang Ning’s body, being so familiar with it as it was all fresh in his mind even now. What she liked, those sensitive spots, where she would resist, how she might react sometimes: bashful and passionate, lovable and ruffianish…
Everything, he had clearly once possessed. Five years had passed since, and at this very moment, there she was, in his embrace...just how was he supposed to bear it, tolerate it?!
Little Xiang Ning raised her head and looked at Xu Tingsheng, considering his words for a while.
As realisation dawned in, she bit her lips, asking softly, “Is it really very agonising? I only know a little, not a lot. Really, does it really feel very terrible?”
Xu Tingsheng sincerely met her gaze and resolutely nodded with the utmost conviction.
“Well…” Little Xiang Ning hesitated for a moment before asking, “If we need another three years, what will you do?”
Three years? That was when she would graduate from senior high. It looked like Xiang Ning had already long since come to a decision on some matters.
Technically, this wasn’t that long. Still, if he had to live through these three years like this, how tragic it truly would be. Xu Tingsheng added the three years for which they had been separated during his previous life to the two years that had elapsed in this current life. Add another three years to it and…
“Eight years,” Projecting the sum total, Xu Tingsheng could not help but murmur out loud.
Little Xiang Ning heard him say this. A flabbergasted expression appeared on her face as she stared dumbfounded at Xu Tingsheng, “Eight years...oh my god! I was only...eight then. You?!”
Xu Tingsheng really felt like slamming his head against the wall and dying right there and then.
After this brief episode, Xiang Ning crawled up unwillingly. Uncle looked too pitiful and his words seemed completely reasonable too. She could only accept the reality of her being shooed away.
Little Xiang Ning got up and started walking away before gazing at Xu Tingsheng, asking softly, “So we can’t be too close for the whole of the three years, lying together, I falling asleep in your embrace? You wouldn’t know, but during the fire, when I was all alone inside and couldn’t come out, I felt very scared. I thought that I was going to die for sure. I feel very scared even when I sleep alone now. I still have nightmares...only when lying in your embrace do I feel especially safe and not scared at all, not even the least bit. When I’m alone, that’s what I have to think about before I dare to sleep. I’ll roll myself up in the blanket, hugging it, leaning against it...”
Tears were welling up in her beautiful eyes as she spoke in an increasingly pitiful, aggrieved manner, with both her eyes and expression filled with panic.
Xu Tingsheng too was growing increasingly alarmed as he listened to her. He now understood why Xiang Ning desired so very adamantly to lie in his embrace, being willing to take the initiative and act shameless in the process. This was no mere playacting on her part.
She had once been plunged into solitude and despair, and when her very life had been compromised, Xu Tingsheng had appeared. She had found a haven, a site of refuge in this person’s embrace where she feared nothing, had no need to fear anything, fleeing into life and safety.
Alongside the trauma that still loomed over her from the fire that day, his embrace was her safe harbour.
Xu Tingsheng was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Just what should he do?
Seeing him conflicted as his resistance fell, Little Xiang Ning shamelessly climbed back in and buried herself in Xu Tingsheng’s embrace, “Just bear with it! You’re so capable-you surely can do it.”
Capable as he was, he should be able to bear it? Xu Tingsheng had never seen anyone praised like this before. It should clearly be: So capable! So mighty!
“Three years-is that what you’ve decided?” Xu Tingsheng shifted his focus elsewhere, enquiring.
“Yeah,” Little Xiang Ning nodded shyly, not looking at him as she said softly, “Three years-you can bully me then.”
She had already rewarded Uncle with ‘Little Pert Waist’. She herself had decided on that. She had also had her first kiss taken away. That had really been stolen. She had just kissed him a bit, and then he had lunged over. Besides those, what her mother had talked about, what Su Nannan had mentioned...that was too serious. Little Xiang Ning knew what her bottom line should be. Her mother had told her that she would not be respected otherwise…
“Is there still anything else besides those?” Little Xiang Ning wondered.
Xu Tingsheng’s head felt ablaze.
“Also, there is a condition too, Xu Tingsheng,” Little Xiang Ning suddenly said, “Besides needing three years, you’ve also got to know one thing at the time. I’ll already have grown up then. You’ll have to know if the one you like is really me or Big Xiang Ning…”
So this had always been weighing on her heart. Xu Tingsheng thought for a moment. It seemed like there was no way of explaining it so easily, and not just to Xiang Ning. Even he himself was somewhat unclear on this issue as it was something that he had always been trying not to think about.
Little Xiang Ning seemed to be in no rush to hear his reply. At sixteen years of age, it seemed she already had some of the big-heartedness and tolerance that the 22-year-old Miss Xiang would possess.
She stole a glance at Xu Tingsheng.
“What is it?” Seeing her furtive manner, Xu Tingsheng asked in a low tone.
“Um, umm, if you really are in agony, how about something else, anything else apart from that? Would that be a little better?” Little Xiang Ning whispered in Xu Tingsheng’s embrace, forcing out the words.
Xu Tingsheng felt like he was going to explode.
“What’s this, this anything else that’s also fine?” Xu Tingsheng forced a smile and asked her.
Looking at him, Little Xiang Ning said, “I don’t know! You’re so old-you should know, right?”
Being so old, of course Xu Tingsheng knew, “How about I teach her a bit first? Such as...but there’s no way I could say these things out loud,” Xu Tingsheng hesitated for a good while on just what should be done about this.
“Well...how about you go ask someone else?”
Little Xiang Ning’s mood fell as she exclaimed exasperatedly, “Huh, who am I supposed to ask? If it’s Su Nannan, she likes you too. How could I ask her? Unless you want me to ask my Mum?”
Xu Tingsheng nearly choked to death at her words. Ask your mother...ask your mother to kill me?
Someone came to mind at this point in time. Xiang Ning’s bosom friend in university in his previous life, her guardian angel of three years. A completely self-taught relationship advice consultant and expert on the two sexes, a reputable love advice counsellor on the web forum Tianya…
Xu Tingsheng wished for Xiang Ning not to miss out on this person. The two of them had been so very close in his previous life. Xu Tingsheng thought that he could not let her miss out on this best friend just from having changed the trajectory of her life.
“Come, let me tell you who you can ask.”
Xu Tingsheng got out of bed and held Little Xiang Ning’s hand in leading her to the study. He turned on the computer and logged onto Tianya.
Lu Min had indeed entered the world of Tianya in junior high, and was really very well-known too. Her ID was not hard to find: My Sensitivity(Min) All The Way. It was really a no-brainer to ascertain her identity with this. Xu Tingsheng had already followed and zeroed in on her prior.
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