268 Gaoqin Jiuye’s Love
“If that’s the case, why are you still in love with him when he says he no longer loves you?”
I was stunned at what Piercer said.
“Why lie to yourself, Li Shen?
“Whether you’re willing to recall the past, I hope you have the courage to face up to your real feelings. Be it Nie Zun or Gaoqin Jiuye, they had both loved you.”
A bitter smile appeared on my face. “That’s something I’m not even sure about. How are you so sure?”
“There are things I know that you aren’t aware of. I’ve been in the Split Zone for too long and I’ve seen enough of things here.”
Looking at my doubtful expression, she explained, “I’ll give you an example. Hmm, what should I use as one? Right, I’ll use Du Yue and Gaoqin Jiuye as an example.”
My interest was definitely piqued as she mentioned these names.
“Do you know why things seem to be confusing between Gaoqin Jiuye and Du Yue? That’s because Gaoqin Jiuye had been seen as a weirdo among the soul splitters from a young age. He’s the only one in the Split Zone whose MF cannot be measured. Even for soul splitters, their MF can be measured before they establish any split symbol contracts. A numerical value can be put on it. However, Gaoqin Jiuye was the only one whose MF could not be measured.
“He was thus seen as someone who was suppressing this huge power in him and people thought that he would just go out of control with all that power one day. For a young teenager whose power could not be measured, he was seen as a ticking time bomb.
“The only thing you need to survive in the Split Zone is power, and the appearance of such an individual whose ability was immeasurable was absolutely unimaginable for all the people who had relied solely on power all their lives here. Being a teenager, that individual still had room to grow. Who wouldn’t be worried? The ones who feared it the most were the ones who were at the very top, the ones who controlled this place with power.
“Gaoqin Jiuye then became a public target, and he was attacked by everyone everywhere. Until one day, when Si Luo suddenly said he was going to take Gaoqin Jiuye under his wing and protect him. No one could do anything to Gaoqin Jiuye from then on since Si Luo has always been respected here in the Split Zone. Be it his looks, ability or reliability, he was at the top.
“However, such a position made it worse for Gaoqin Jiuye. People got jealous. Gaoqin Jiuye became famous because he had this mysterious power, and now that he was under the wing of a powerful man, many wanted to get rid of him.
“Life got worse for him as people continued throwing sideways glances and ostracizing him. At that point, there was no one who treated him as a friend in the Split Zone, especially not soul splitters. Apart from you, there was nobody else who accepted Gaoqin Jiuye. Though you’re not willing to admit your relationship, I can tell that you are as important to him as Si Luo is. As for you, even when you found him crossing the line on many occasions, you didn’t do anything about it and simply accepted him as he is. Isn’t that right?”
“You’re digressing.” She was supposed to talk about Du Yue and Gaoqin Jiuye, and I didn’t want her to affect my thoughts in any way. Also, I definitely did not want her meddling into my relationship with Gaoqin Jiuye.
She seemed to see through my intentions, but she continued calmly.
“Okay, we’ll return to the topic at hand. In such a situation, Gaoqin Jiuye was living a suppressed life. He was ostracized and alone. Initially, Si Luo was the only one by his side. However, his life changed after Du Yue came along.
“Du Yue was a tall, young girl at the time, and though she didn’t have much ambition in the Split Zone, she was still someone who was very gutsy. She became Gaoqin Jiuye’s close friend after getting to know him.
“Du Yue did not care about whatever was being said about Gaoqin Jiuye and insisted on being friends with him. She even trained and practiced with him. But of course, this wasn’t the reason why Gaoqin Jiuye gave up on her.”
Stalling for time at the very moment when things are about to be revealed? I asked, “Why did he do that then?”
My instincts had always been accurate, and though it told me that this reason would probably make me feel uncomfortable in some way, I just had to know.
“It was because of you.”
I was rendered speechless at her answer.
Piercer seemed to have expected such a reaction from me as she continued, “Gaoqin Jiuye was already dreaming about you then. Du Yue helped him look for a special method in order to find you. But that’s not important. The important thing is that if anything goes wrong while using that particular method, one would end up going into the other space. This happened when Gaoqin Jiuye went looking for you in one of his dreams, and to prevent him from getting lost in the cracks in space and ending up getting stuck there, Du Yue pulled him back into the Split Zone.
“This saved Gaoqin Jiuye’s life, but it destroyed an arm of hers.”
I was surprised upon hearing this. “She lost that arm for Gaoqin Jiuye?”
“Yes. And since that happened because Gaoqin Jiuye was looking for you, it’s understandable that she doesn’t have such a good impression of you. She also changed drastically after she lost her arm. If a part of one’s consciousness is lost in the cracks of space, it can never be found.
“Losing her arm in that crack in space affected her MF greatly. Du Yue was not that powerful actually, but after that, she became cruel and ruthless. She even got infatuated with Ta Lai in the end. Her arm never healed and Gaoqin Jiuye blamed himself for all that had happened to her.
“It’s understandable that he felt guilty for it, since he was partially responsible for breaking the rules of the Split Zone by going over to another space to look for you. Du Yue ended up being the sacrificial lamb for it.
“However, there are rumors that Du Yue’s split symbol can actually recover although it was partially devoured by that crack in space. There are rumors going around that she didn’t want it healed. On this, no one knows the truth but her.”
I was utterly stunned. Thousands of questions were swimming in my head but I didn’t know what to say. Should I be happy about this or should I be upset?
“After that, Gaoqin Jiuye was extremely patient with Du Yue. Whatever she wanted, she got. He’d help her achieve everything she set out to do. Du Yue didn’t treat Gaoqin Jiuye badly either. From how I see it, Du Yue had loved him before. Du Yue’s infatuation with Ta Lai and her hatred towards Bian Ying seemed to be more of a conquest instead of something genuine. I don’t know much about them so I can’t tell you much. But I can tell you about Gaoqin Jiuye.
“Gaoqin Jiuye and I might not be arch enemies, but we’re definitely not on the same side. You should know that he saved Zou An and his wife. Though I hate Gaoqin Jiuye, frankly, I am kind of impressed by his loyalty towards you. It might be because I’m someone who is emotionally-driven most of the time, and I’m pretty impressed by how Gaoqin Jiuye can do so much for you. You won’t be able to imagine how difficult it was to pass through the spaces to look for you. He had to bear an immense amount of pressure and he had to be absolutely resolute, he couldn’t fear death.
“Love is blind. He’s done so much for you, and Du Yue has done so much for him. It’s like a vicious cycle which eventually ended up in a great change in Du Yue’s character and a jump in her abilities. You and Gaoqin Jiuye did not have a happy ending either. In the end, you ended up here with a split symbol contract because he had to interfere with what was happening in your world to save you. Though this might seem selfish, it could initially have been a happy ending where he explained everything to you and apologized, and in that story, the both of you could live happily ever after. But you forgot all about him when you arrived here.
“Oh, that’s not right. It’s not that you’ve forgotten him completely. You just put your feelings for him onto a totally different person. You chose to believe that Gao Qi was the one you loved, the one whom you stabbed with a knife. You were wallowing in that guilt you felt towards him.
“That guilt and self-blame made your life in the Split Zone miserable. From Gaoqin Jiuye’s perspective, no matter who you loved, those feelings of yours had brought you nothing but pain. This is why he blamed himself for it. This is also why he placed you in the care of others and chose never to see you again until you could recall your past, until you healed.
“He knew that your amnesia and memory confusion were all issues of the heart and that it wasn’t caused by external factors. I’m guessing that he probably wouldn’t reach out to you if you end up not being able to remember anything about him.
“But fate loves to throw curveballs at us, even in the Split Zone. The both of you ended up meeting each other and your relationship turned rather complex. What’s ridiculous is that you’ve actually fallen in love with another person.”
I felt like I could no longer take this. I didn’t want to hear more of this and interrupted her, “Enough.”
She refused to stop talking, but her voice turned gentle. “These are things you have to know, Li Shen. You’re running away from this just like how you’re running away from those sealed memories of yours. You think that you’re protecting yourself and protecting others, but you’re actually harming them and harming yourself.”
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