Chapter 229.1: ConfessionOriginal and most updated translations are on volare. If this is being found anywhere else, it has been stolen. Don't support theft. :)
The crowd started dispersing since the show was over.
Tang Doudou said goodbye to Golden Wind Jade Dew, then left with Jun Xin.
"Hey, are you angry?" Jun Xin thought Tang Doudou would be happy since she got revenge on Nangong Yan, but her face was scrunched up and she showed no reaction to the interesting things they passed by on the street. It was easy for him to guess what she was thinking about.
The annoying little brat has become a caring man. In response to Jun Xin's concern, Tang Doudou sighed and said, "I'm not angry, I'm just a little lost. I'm not sure what to do anymore."
No matter how good things sounded, when you try to carry it out you would find that it was much harder than you thought it would be.
"What do you mean what to do? Are you talking about yourself or someone else?"
"Myself of course! Who would need me to mind their business?" Tang Doudou sighed. "Jun Xin, I'm useless, aren't I? It's always been you guys that help me with everything. It's enough that I can't be any help, but I always end up causing you guys more trouble."
"I want to help you guys somehow."
"En. Is there more?"
She looked ahead towards the distant figure she had originally wanted to see a lot and said softly, "And, I don't want to get married..."
However, she spoke too softly. Though Jun Xin had been listening carefully, he still couldn't catch it. He followed her gaze and saw Baili Yu.
He felt a little annoyed. Baili Yu had only made it here after the incident was already over. What exactly was more important: that matter or Tang Doudou?
From the looks of it, Baili Yu himself wasn't sure.
"Are you going over?" Jun Xin looked over and asked.
Tang Doudou sighed deeply. Running away wasn't going to solve things so she might as well face Baili Yu head on. "Let's go. Thank you for today."
Jun Xin rapped her on the forehead. "With our relationship, do we need to say things like this?"
"What relationship do we have?" It's unknown if Jun Xin had hit her too hard and made her brain freeze for a moment or if she really wasn't sure, but she reflexively asked Jun Xin this as she covered her hurting forehead.
Jun Xin laughed. "I was just teasing you. If you want to head over, then go. I have to head back as well."
After he finished speaking, he turned to leave without waiting for a reply.
"Stinkin' brat!" Only then did Tang Doudou snap out of it and realize that Jun Xin had already rapped her on the head twice today. It was intolerable!
She wanted to grab this guy and demand what he meant by teasing her!
However, Jun Xin simply left her with the view of his elegant back. It made her become depressed. This little brat has been becoming more and more annoying lately. He clearly knew that she didn't want to be alone with Baili Yu right now, yet he still ran off on his own.
Haa... She didn't know how many times she had sighed today. She didn't turn around since she knew Baili Yu was behind her. Just as she was trying to think of where to start, that languid voice drifted over lightly. "Wife, I'm here to take you home."
She turned around and saw that he had his usual warm smile on his face.
If she hadn't transmigrated into Li Xueyi's body and was an ordinary woman, Baili Yu probably wouldn't even glance at her!
"What are you thinking about?" Baili Yu reached out and gently stroked her cheek. His smile had faded and his face filled with heartache and self-blame. "Doudou, I'm sorry."
She abruptly looked up. Doudou?
"You don't like it when I call you this way?" asked Baili Yu with a slight pout. Before Tang Doudou could even react, he reached out and pulled her tightly into his arms. Tang Doudou was pressed against his chest and could feel the forceful thump of his heartbeats. Her unease instantly faded.
"Doudou, I know you blame me for not telling you anything."
"It's just that I don't know where to start. These matters are so complicated that even I often feel lost. I often end up questioning myself and wondering whether these choices are right or wrong."
Baili Yu spoke softly into her ear. There was no longer any hint of a smile, just intense helplessness. "Ever since I was a child, Master had told me that I couldn't live for myself since any mistake I made could hurt people important to me. Hence, I learned since childhood to be cautious. Even when walking, I would think about the safest location to set my foot..."
Tang Doudou felt like crying a little. She hadn't expect for Baili Yu to suddenly start talking about this. However, she understood from these words that this seeming strong man was actually very sensitive and had noticed all her silent grievances and sufferings.
That was why he was revealing to her these things that he had never spoken to anyone about.
"As I slowly grew up, I learned a lot and obtained a lot. Gradually, I no longer had to be careful about every little thing. I learned to use all sorts of schemes to protect the people behind me..."
"Even if I never understood why I was entrusted with the responsibility of their lives, it had already become habit for me to protect. Whenever something endangered them, I would eradicate the threat without mercy."
"My blood is cold, but after you appeared it turned warm." He suddenly lowered his head and looked into her eyes to see her heart. Lifting her hand, he placed it gently over the place where his heart pounded.
"Doudou, do you know? Whenever I'm with you, I would forget about those responsibilities and about the need to be cautious. When you're here, I would feel very at ease. This place would feel very warm and comfortable."
"For countless nights, I've asked myself what exactly this feeling was."
"I think, it's probably love."
"I love you, Tang Doudou." Baili Yu hugged her tightly as if he wanted to embed her into his life. Tang Doudou could feel his violently pounding heart. "The heartbeat you hear right now belongs to you alone. If you can bear to leave, then just take it with you."
His voice was hoarse with emotion.
Tang Doudou never seen Baili Yu so vulnerable and was for a moment flustered. Her heart squeezed with pain. She opened her mouth but didn't know what to say.
So he was actually this sensitive. These thoughts had just emerged in her heart, yet he had already noticed them.
"Doudou, could you bear to?" asked Baili Yu as he gently cupped her face.
His tone was sincere. As he asked her this, it also sounded as if he was asking himself this.
Tang Doudou pressed her lips together, then shook her head. "I can't."
Just seeing him sad like this made her heart want to break, so how could she bear to take away his heart?
In any case, it wasn't like she really wanted to leave!
When she faced this man, it always felt like she was about to bite down on a hedgehog. There was no way to win.
"Doudou..." He called softly.
She glanced up at him. When she saw that his eyes seemed to want to swallow her whole, she immediately turned her head away and made an angry face. "Just because I can't bear to leave doesn't mean that I'm not angry."
The perfect atmosphere was destroyed just like this.
Credits: Translated by Chiyomira
Previous Chapter Next Chapter