Chapter 1253: [YeXi] Cooking

Long Feiye and Han Yunxi had yet to return to their quarters when Rui’er fell asleep in his mother’s lap. Han Yunxi had no tender feelings for the little fellow who had wrecked his mother! When had she ever lost a bet, in this life or the last? In the end, it was her own child who broke her record so that she lost to her own husband.

Did this count as predestined fate?

After settling Rui’er down, Han Yunxi stretched and prepared to change when Long Feiye pulled her over and had her sit on his thigh. 

“Tired?” he asked.

“Not tired. It was pretty thrilling tonight. We dealt with everything except the matter of the red envelopes.” Han Yunxi took Long Fieye’s hand and lowered her head as she played with his long, slender, and attractive fingers. She had let Zhao mama made the best preparations to dig out the scapegoats, but the Madames seemed too frightened by Minxiang’s actions to try anything. However, she didn’t expect Mu Linger to donate her red envelope, either. Mu Linger had no idea about the empty red envelope scandal, so Han Yunxi suspected Zhao mama must have taught her to do and speak such things. 

As a shrewd old palace lady, Zhao mama was best suited to deal with those noble madams. 

Long Feiye had no interest in the matter of the red envelopes as he buried his head against Han Yunxi’s shoulder. “Are you hungry?”

Han Yunxi froze at his words. “No...I’m not hungry.”

But her stomach chose at that moment to grumble loudly. Although she’d eaten dinner, it was only little snacks that she ate in small quantities. Long Feiye held her tighter and all but pressed against her ear as he said seductively, “Your lips won’t admit it, but your stomach is honest.”

“It’s too late to eat, I’ll get fat,” Han Yunxi said hastily.

Long Feiye touched her stomach, then her arms, before hugging her again. “You are a little chubbier,” he agreed.

“You!” Han Yunxi huffed, but finally pushed him away with dignity. “That’s why I can’t eat anymore.”

“It’s fine. If you’re chubby…”

“You might like it, but I don’t!” Han Yunxi retorted before he could finish. He was definitely going to say something like “If you’re chubby I’ll still like you.” What man didn’t know how to say these things? It wasn’t them who were fat after all. Moreover, being chubby or thin was a matter of personal preference. 

Long Feiye arched a brow at her before stating seriously, “I don’t like it either. If you exercise after you eat, you won’t get fat.”

Long Feiye, you bastard! Han Yunxi’s heart jolted as she tried to push him away, but in vain. 

“I’m going to bed with Rui’er!” she said righteously.

Long Feiye easily released her. “Have a nap. I’ll go cook some noodles, it’ll be fast.”

Han Yunxi buried her head in her arms as she watched Long Feiye leave. She wanted to cry but had no tears. She was willing to bet that if Long Feiye actually knew how to cook, she could fly to the Heavens in one shot! After he left, she hesitated briefly before deciding to secretly slip to the kitchen. There she saw the servants had been all woken up to stand outside in a straight line. They were whispering amongst themselves. As soon as they saw Han Yunxi, everyone hastened to bow, but she quickly made a shushing motion and had them stay still without making a sound.

The servants quieted down, but their minds were full of thoughts! First of all, they had no idea why the emperor ran to the kitchens in the middle of the night and chased them all out. Secondly, they didn’t understand why the empress had ran over as well and forbade them from speaking. 

Han Yunxi carefully tiptoed to a window--but not too close, in case Long Feiye noticed. She peeked inside and saw him standing in front of the counter cluelessly, his brows knit tight. There was absolutely nothing in front of him. Han Yunxi almost wanted to reveal herself right there and then. So it turns out there are times when this man is helpless too!

After a while, Long Feiye called out, “Someone, come!”

The head chef quickly ran inside. “This servant is present!”

Long Feiye asked a question that Han Yunxi would never forget for the rest of her life.

“Where are the noodles?” he asked.

Fortunately, Han Yunxi muffled herself in time before her laughter alerted him. He was so insistent about cooking me noodles, but he can’t even find where they are! Of course you have to make them yourself! Doesn’t this guy get it?

All right, Han Yunxi herself didn’t know much either. When she cooked her own noodles, the servants had helped. Food didn’t last long during this time period, so even uncooked noodles were made from scratch. Somehow the head chef had enough presence of mind to stay calm and not laugh. He carefully replied, “To reply Your Majesty, all of the noodles in the kitchens were used up today. This servant will roll out some more.”

“Mm,” Long Feiye said coldly.

And so, the head chef quickly began to make noodles while Long Feiye circled around the kitchens and picked up a pile of ingredients. Besides eggs and a few hens still locked in cages, he didn’t find any other useable ingredients. 

“Isn’t there anything else?” he asked.

“Your Majesty, in order to preserve the freshness of the ingredients, the kitchen gets daily deliveries every morning. Right now...it’s, it’s not time for the delivery yet,” the head chef replied honestly.

“Go kill a chicken,” Long Feiye didn’t hesitate.

A person was immediately found to slaughter the kitchen while the head chef rolled out noodles. One hour later, both the noodles and chicken were set in front of Long Feiye. He waved a hand at the head chef and said, “Get out.”

Han Yunxi had already returned to the window and was regarding the noodles and raw chicken with doubt. Is Long Feiye planning to cook the noodles in chicken soup? Does he know it takes half a day to simmer old hen soup?

Long Feiye was truly clueless. He looked at the ingredients before him and fell into deep thought. After a long time, he finally made a decision. But it was then that he discovered the fire in the stove had long gone out. Han Yunxi snickered secretly. She wanted to see how Long Feiye would light the fire, but unexpectedly he simply stuck his hand inside and channeled his energy to produce a blazing flame.

Then he placed water into the big pot and used the time it took to boil to cut up the old hen with a knife. Han Yunxi could acknowledge that much and nodded. Moreover, Long Feiye smashed the chicken into pieces with a single cut. As expected, martial arts practitioners needed no effort to cook! Han Yunxi acknowledged that too and discovered that Long Feiye was quite skilled with his knife.

Once the water started boiling, Long Feiye tossed the chicken pieces in to boil. Then he stood on one side to watch with arms crossed. This man was so handsome that he looked domineering even in a kitchen setting, noble and inviolable. Han Yunxi couldn’t resist looking at him a little longer before turning to leave.

Let him take his time waiting, she thought, In any case, his cooking method means it’ll take until daybreak at least to make the chicken tender. I can sleep in the meantime.

Han Yunxi left without a care, but she had no idea that Long Feiye soon tossed the whole pile of noodles into the pot not long after her absence. They cooked together with the chicken while he waited a bit more. When he couldn’t smell the savory scent of chicken, he began to channel his energy into the pot to bring the fire into a fierce broil. It was so hot that even he had to back up a few steps.

The flames grew more and more rampant as the soup boiled like mad. Long Feiye seized the chance to crack an egg into the mixture, soon sending the scent of chicken soup wafting into the air. He was satisfied with the results, but when he lifted the lid to the pot, he grew stunned. There were no noodles to be seen, much less chicken or the egg. Everything inside the pot had congealed into a mass resembling thick porridge.

“Was the fire too strong?” he laughed mockingly at himself.

Although the sight was beyond unbearable, he was still satisfied with the smell. He personally doled out a bowl and told the head chef as he left, “The rest of the noodles shall be awarded to you lot.”

The head chef was beyond pleased and led the others to thank his grace. After all, it was a great honor to eat food personally prepared by the emperor! Leaving aside the head chef, even the servants by his side felt their hearts blooming like flowers with joy. When the emperor was gone, they all raced to enter the kitchens, but saw nothing except a mass of white stuff in the big pot. It looked like porridge, but also soup. There were no noodles to be found!

“Chief, where are the noodles?” a servant asked curiously.

The head chef searched diligently in every pot of the kitchens, but still didn’t find a hint of them. He was lost and confused.

Another servant piped up. “Chief, could it be what’s in this pot? Didn’t the emperor have a chicken killed just then? This stuff smells like chicken.”

The head chef looked at the mass carefully. Besides the scent of chicken, he couldn’t make heads or tails of the lumps. After repeated hesitation, he decided, “All of you stay here, I’ll go ask Zhao mama.”

He couldn’t afford to be anything but cautious with this matter! If they didn’t finish off the noodles made by the emperor and it was ruined instead, that was a grievous crime. But if the stuff inside the pot wasn’t the emperor’s noodles, eating wantonly was also a serious offense. Neither crime was one they could afford to shoulder.

The head chef didn’t leave long before he saw Zhao mama heading for the kitchens. She had been cooking old hen soup before daybreak these days in order to bolster Lady Jing’s health. After the head chef explained the situation, zhao mama could only gape at the mess inside the pot.

“The emperor just left?” she asked.

“Not long ago. Perhaps he hasn’t slept yet. Zhao mama, the heads of us humble fellows are in your hands! You must, must help us get to the bottom of this!” the head chef had almost fallen to his knees.

Zhao mama was quite cruel to outsiders, but she was very fair to her own people. She patted her chest and declared, “Don’t worry, this old body will go right away. The emperor and empress made a bet, so they won’t be sleeping so soon yet!”

By the time Zhao mama entered the inner palace, Long Feiye and Han Yunxi were indeed still awake. Both of them were sitting in the outer hall while Han Yunxi looked with dread at the bowl of fragrant, unfamiliar mass before her. “Long Feiye, we agreed it’d be noodles. What is this?”

“It’s noodles,” Long Feiye said sincerely, just as Zhao mama appeared. 

She put on an air of surprise and cried, “Oh my, emperor and empress, it’s almost daylight and you’re still not resting?”

“Zhao mama, come and take a look at this!” Han Yunxi cried desperately.

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Ruyi's Thoughts

that was horrible omg long feiye never enter a kitchen again ahahaha