Book 8: Chapter 32 - Don’t Want To Die

“Have you read the introduction to economics?” Xing Chuan asked Lucifer sternly.

Lucifer replied guiltily, “Only… a little.”

“Are you lazing around?!” Xing Chuan suddenly became angry. He roared, “You know that I have not much time left. Your Brother Raffles and Brother Haggs have to focus on developing the technology in Radical Star. No one will dare to bully us only when we have the most advanced technology and weapons.”

“Alright. Who will dare to make a move on us when I am in Radical Star?” I didn’t want to hear Xing Chuan say anything about him not having much time left or anything about him dying. I continued, “You said that Lucifer is a man and not a child. It is his freedom to learn whatever he loves. You can’t force him into becoming another you!”

“Because we have insufficient talents!” Xing Chuan became emotional. He said, “Lucifer’s brain develops very quickly, and he is able to learn something by heart after going through it once. It would be a waste to use his brain elsewhere! I want him to become the second assistant minister. Then, he will be qualified to become your man!”

“Can he only become my man if he becomes like you?” I got angry. I was angry because he sounded like he was making a will. I asked, “Xing Chuan, what’s gotten into you recently? We will go to Silver Moon City. We will heal you. Can you stop behaving like this? Do you think I can’t tell? You want to nurture Lucifer as your replacement and stay by my side on your behalf. Xing Chuan, I love you. Why do I need your replacement?”

Xing Chuan’s expression froze in the rippling water reflection.

Lucifer stood by the side stiffly. He took a step back and lowered his head in disappointment. He suddenly turned and spread his wings. He took off from one of the balconies nearby into the high sky, vanishing in the clouds.

“No one wants to be another person’s replacement. No matter how innocent Lucifer is, he wants to be himself,” I said, squatting before Xing Chuan. I held his hands on his knees, saying, “Don’t worry. Even after you die, I will put your ashes in the room to keep myself company. I wouldn’t find another living person to replace you.”

He finally smiled. He held my hands, lowering his head. As he chuckled lightly, tears were dripping on the back of my hand. I stood up, extended my hand to hug him. He leaned in my embrace, crying, “Bing, I loath to…” His voice cut at my heart. He said, “I finally receive your love, but I become like this. I can’t hug you. I can’t kiss you. I am really reluctant and unwilling…” 

“I know…”

“I don’t want to die, Bing… I really don’t want to die… I really… loath to part with you… I am so close to you… so close…” He hugged me tightly, wanting to bury himself into my body so that he could become one with my soul with an inseparable force. His obsession for me seemed to want to consume every part of my flesh and blood, for me to merge into his body. It was almost psychopathic.

I hugged him back tightly. Jun and Zong Ben landed on the merman statue, witnessing the emotional entanglement between another man and me.

“Go for physiotherapy. We are already together…” I patted Xing Chuan’s back gently. He calmed down and let go of me, saying, “To you, we are considered together. Heh, with a hoary old man. But to me, we will only be considered as being together after we do it.”

I looked at Xing Chuan, asking, “Is that really important to you?”

He looked at me with a sullen look, replying, “Very important! Ever since you came up to Silver Moon City, I had wanted you all the time. You knew it all along!” His intense gaze burned me all over. The stubbornness and passion reminded me of He Lei.

I gave in to his persistence, saying, “Fine. If you are really going to die, I will figure out a way for you to have a temporary recovery of youth to enjoy a night with me. Then, you can die with no regret. How about that?”

I was only making a joke, but he stared at me extremely solemnly, “Okay. Keep your word!”

I held my forehead, asking, “Are you willing to go for physiotherapy now?” I felt like I was making my grandfather see a doctor.

His face grew glum as he agreed, “Mm.”

I pushed him to Raffles’s lab.

Ahead, Su Yang and Yu Xi were walking towards us in the serene silence.

They looked at peace. Su Yang had lost his gloominess from when he was the Great Ghost King, while Yu Xi had lost her anxiousness from when she was in Ghost King City.

“We were going to look for you in the meeting room, but Gru said that you came out for a walk,” Yu Xi said smilingly, looking at Xing Chuan with a gentle look. She exhorted, “Don’t wear yourself out. You have a bright future waiting for you…”

Xing Chuan smiled faintly. He never showed his pessimistic self to Yu Xi so she wouldn’t worry.

“We came to bid farewell,” Su Yang said. “We are going back to Ghost King City to reorganize our army. I have to fight the war against Silver Moon City personally. Plus, the children have been holding back for too long. They need the war. I owe them that,” Su Yang said as his expression grew solemn, and his eyes were fueled with guilt.

“When everything ends, I will tell the children the truth…” Su Yang said, looking sideways. His eyebrows were tightly knitted when he continued, “They can decide on their own if they want to continue to stay by my side or to follow you.”

Xing Chuan and I were surprised. Yu Xi held Su Yang’s arm encouragingly. Su Yang’s expression loosened, and he smiled at Yu Xi, nodding.

He turned to look at Xing Chuan. He squatted and held Xing Chuan’s hand, saying, “My child, we might be manmade humans, but your mother went through ten months of pregnancy to give birth to you, and you are a human. I hope you won’t be affected by the identity of Yu Xi and me as manmade humans. You have to believe in your lover.” Su Yang lifted his chin, glancing at me.

Xing Chuan looked at Su Yang in surprise. I was surprised too. I was surprised that they accepted the fact that they were manmade humans so openly.

Yu Xi could see how surprised I was. She smiled, saying, “We have our own minds and soul. It doesn’t matter if our bodies were manmade or naturally delivered. The most important thing is how we view ourselves. We are humans. Lil Bing, no one can decide that we are not.”

I stood on the spot and watched them, hugging and kissing Xing Chuan. Then, they walked away in the dim sunlight.

The identity of manmade humans changed Su Yang. He had put down something, yet he had regained something. Of course, all of it was due to Yu Xi, the gentle and content woman, who was persistent and brave in love.

Their receding figures in the sunlight were covered by a layer of time as if they were cut off from the outside world. They looked like the people in an old photo, who had suddenly come alive, but who turned around and left.

Maybe Su Yang would become the original Su Yang after returning to Ghost King City. But at that moment, he was calm. He was calm about his future. He was calm, dealing with his identity as a manmade human. He was calm, focusing his hatred towards Silver Moon City…

Previous Chapter Next Chapter