Dear Grace, how can I get my ex back?

Dear Grace,

I’ve been with my ex for three years. She broke up with me because she said she no longer feels the same. I can’t let go. I want to get her back. What can I do to make her change her mind?



Dear D,

You can’t “make” her change her mind. She has to do it herself. If you’re constantly texting, calling, stalking her to try to win her back, she’ll just think you’re insane and feel more certain about her decision to leave you.

You have to give her time to miss you. Give her space.

Accept that you’re no longer together and you might never get back together.

I know it is really hard, but the first step is to accept the breakup. You may think she’s “the one” but if she doesn’t think so, it’s not going to work. A healthy relationship requires two people who truly want to be together. Both of you must want to continue investing. If one side stops, it’s over.

I know you’re probably thinking, “But how could she be so heartless? We shared so many special memories together. We were so happy. How could she forget everything we’ve been through?”

I assure you, she hasn’t forgotten. But clearly, if she wants to end things with you, she no longer feels the same. People change. Feelings change. What she wanted or needed a few years ago may no longer be applicable now.

Ultimately, she lost her attraction to you. If you want her to get back with you, you must re-attract her again.

Think back to why she fell in love with you in the first place. What did you do to get her?

In my opinion, currently, you should aim to be the best version of yourself. This means you need to work on yourself. Are you staying healthy? Are you working hard towards your goals? Do you do things you enjoy? Do you have a work life balance? Are you spending time with people who matter to you?

Try to avoid spending time being depressed. The more you make it seem like your life revolves around her, the more pathetic you’re going to appear.

So, here are my tips for you:

  1. Give her space and time to miss you.
  2. Focus on yourself & do the things that make you happy. (Please don’t tell me she’s the only thing that makes you happy).
  3. Use social media to your advantage. It is quite likely that she will stalk your social media to see how you’re doing. You want to show her you’re enjoying life and not feeling sorry for yourself.
  4. If you believe she’s someone that you absolutely cannot let go of, message her in a few months after you’ve improved yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. But you must remember that there is no guarantee she will respond.

Basically, I can’t promise that your ex will get back with you. However, I’ve had friends who had once broken up, but are now happily married. So, sometimes, breakups are not always permanent.

Although I don’t want you to give up hope, I want you to remember that all relationships are different. Something that may work for one person may not work for another.

If you’ve tried your best and she still doesn’t want to get back with you, you must move on.

I dedicate this song to you (Listen to the lyrics)

Note: This is for the general public. Personally, I believe when a person decides to end a relationship, it’s because:

  1. They no longer believe you can make them happy 
  2. They believe they’re better off without you
  3. They see more cons than pros of being with you


What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Would you get back with an ex? Why or why not? If you have suggestions for D, leave it down in the comment section below!

P.S. I’m the translator of SUPERNATURAL GIRLFRIEND!! If you haven’t already started reading this novel, what are you waiting for?!? Go go go! Don’t judge the novel by the cover/name! You can read it here!

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