Chapter 341: kk

The next day, Chen Shi told Lin Dongxue that there were some private matters he had to deal with, so he wouldn’t be going to the bureau.

At 9:00 in the morning, Chen Shi and Gu You met up. Chen Shi said, "No, I thought about it last night. Are you really kk? I remember that kk is a master of lockpicking and Master Ge was the one who was proficient in psychology."

"We learned from each other and then surpassed each other." Gu You said calmly.

Chen Shi was a little skeptical, but Gu You was just a girl at the time. It was impossible to name herself "Master Ge", right?

"I remember that you taught everyone to fight, and I still remember that you said that only Wing Chun can overcome the military and police’s fighting skills."

"Please don’t laugh at me[1]."

"Are you really a driver? A driver who went to college?"

"I don't want to lie to you. I have a secret that I will tell you later."

"Okay, I have my own secrets too."

Chen Shi asked again, "Have you been dating Old Peng recently?"

Gu You laughed. "I just feel a rational resonance with him, but we’re not dating..."

The two got to Baisha Square. Gu You looked left and right for half an hour, before suddenly saying to Chen Shi, "That’s him."

Chen Shi saw a young man who had his hair dyed blonde squatting on the ground and smoking. He was glancing at beautiful girls that walked past. Chen Shi frowned. Was this not a small-time thief? What a misnomer. The name "Master Ge" should at least look like a swindler.

The blondie suddenly jumped up like an eagle that found his prey. He followed behind a girl sneakily and took the wallet from her shoulder bag very swiftly.

Chen Shi couldn't bear it any longer. Regardless of Gu You's obstruction, he patted the blondie's shoulder. The blondie said with hostility, "What?"

"Take out the wallet you just stole!"

"Who are you?"

"A police officer!"

"Oh, Brother Police..." The blondie's face softened and was about to make a run for it.

Chen Shi swept at his feet and the blondie screamed in pain as he was pressed down by Chen Shi. He pleaded for mercy. At this moment, Gu You came over and he begged, "Master Ge, help me quickly."

"What are you calling her?"

"It’s none of your fucking business!"

Gu You covered her mouth and laughed. "I lied to you last night. I'm actually Master Ge."

"What about him..." Chen Shi pointed at the blondie with an ominous hunch.

"kk. The kk you were dating online. He didn't meet you back then because he is a man."

Looking at this perverted face with a moustache, Chen Shi was startled and felt like his heart was shattered. The blondie pointed to Chen Shi and asked Gu You, "Wait, he isn’t... The Steel Snail, right?"

"It's him."

"No way!" The blondie’s voice rose eight pitches. "Brother Steel Snail, it’s you?"

It took Chen Shi a long time to recover from the blow. The blondie stood up and said excitedly, "How many years has it been? My God, what’s up? Are we creating an offline group now?"

"You need to return the girl's wallet first."

"Hit me."

"What?"

The blondie pointed at his face. "Just a punch!"

Chen Shi respected his wishes and punched him in the face. The blondie covered his nose. "Wow, you actually hit really hard!"

Then, he pretended to be limp, went after the girl, returned the wallet, and talked with her for a long time. He returned with a smile, saying, "I said I chased her wallet back and got the beauty's WeChat. She also said that she would invite me to dinner someday!"

"Fuck! You scum!" Chen Shi said with contempt.

Half an hour later, the three were sitting in a nearby cafe. The blondie’s real name was You Kangkang. You Kangkang drank a milkshake and said excitedly, "I failed the university entrance exam that year and I was afraid that I would be killed by my father when I returned home. However, I didn’t want to restudy for it, so I lied saying that I was studying at Long'an xx University and photoshopped my acceptance letter. I lied like that for four years, and I was under great pressure. I accidentally met Master Ge on the Internet... Look at what kind of name you came up with. If I had known you were a beauty, I would have chased after you back then... Then, I joined this group and found that you all have high academic qualifications. I didn’t really understand the things you talked about, but you didn’t understand lockpicking and asked me for advice. I could actually be a teacher for college students? Haha, I was delighted, so I played with you all. Later, I met you. Why did you treat me as a girl? You even told me all these cheesy things, so I felt obligated to continue with the farce. I didn’t think you’d like me. Did you only start going on the Internet that year and didn’t get catfished by a shemale over the Internet yet?”

"Stop talking. Stop talking." Chen Shi held his forehead.

"My dear." You Kangkang bumped his arm against Chen Shi’s. "Didn't you say that you wanted to row a boat together with me after we met?"

"Doesn’t that count as an implicit suggestion for sex?" Gu You said.

"Really?" You Kangkang was shocked and stared at Chen Shi. "I didn't expect you to be so dirty!"

"Don't talk about it! Stop talking about it!" Chen Shi wanted to find a hole to bury himself in.

"So, what did you want with me?"

"Actually, I'm helping the police right now. This is my certificate..." Chen Shi took out his consultant certificate.

You Kangkang's eyes froze. He suddenly stood up and said, "I still have something to do. I’ll take my leave first."

"Sit down!" Chen Shi ordered.

You Kangkang sat down obediently with a straight body.

"I don't care about your little thefts. Just don't let me see it. I'm looking for you to deal with someone..."

After speaking, You Kangkang patted his legs and said, "Fuck, it’s another beauty. Why didn't I chase after her back then?"

"Is that the point?!" Chen Shi scoffed. "I need your assistance to use abnormal means to find evidence."

You Kangkang raised his eyebrows. "What's in it for me?"

Chen Shi had expected him to say this. He was pretty straightforward "Money!"

"How much?"

"Help me this one time and I’ll give you five thousand."

"I’m part of the underground society. If I worked with the police, it’d be a huge risk. Considering this risk, why is it only..."

"Four thousand!"

"Okay, okay, five thousand it is. Who asked me to have had a relationship with you!" You Kangkang patted Chen Shi's shoulders hard. Listening to his nasty voice, Chen Shi got goosebumps.

What a dark history!

Chen Shi looked at Gu You and You Kangkang. "Have you two kept in touch the entire time?"

Gu You said, "kk doesn’t look serious, but in fact, he’s very kind. I asked him to help me find a girl who ran away from home. They were having a psychological problem."

"I'm a kind dick!" You Kangkang said. "I’m filled with criminal genes from head to toe."

"Then why weren't you corrupted by Zhou Xiao?" Chen Shi asked.

You Kangkang's eyes dimmed and said, "I don't agree with what he said, the thing about this world being fake and that the order was just shackles. He made it like a cult. I’ve been bad since I was a kid. I’ve done a lot of stealing chickens and touching dogs[2], so I have a sense of self-knowledge. I know that there must be a bottom line even if you’re a bad person... I like crime, but I don’t like killing people. That game isn’t sustainable. It doesn’t count as a real long-term career!”

"Do you know who Zhou Xiao is?"

"I don't. I didn't attend the party at Villa Luolin. If I went back then, I would either have been killed or a murderer now."

Gu You said, "Let's find Little Worm now!"

Chen Shi reminded You Kangkang, "Let me just reiterate that you must not steal things in front of me. Otherwise I will send you to the bureau. Even more than that, don’t steal my things, or I’ll just directly beat you to death.”

You Kangkang resumed his usual personality after his serious explanation and teased, "My dear, you’re so fierce!"

1. This is an expression of humility. Gu You isn’t actually laughing at him, but it’s like how some people rub their heads, look down and smile while saying “don’t mention it” when people praise them. Kind of like how people say, ‘Oh please.’ or ‘Don’t tease me.’ when they get called beautiful. 

2. An expression to describe sneaky, dishonest acts. The story comes from people needing to pet the dogs so that they won’t bark when you sneak in to steal people’s chicken. Though, they might steal the dog as well. 

 

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