Chapter 358 - He's A Sage, Not A Monkey!

Chapter 358 - He's A Sage, Not A Monkey!

Original and most updated translations are from volare. Please don't read elsewhere and stop supporting theft.

What did the symbol on this amulet have to do with the one on that tatty old rag doll? This mystery, this connection whirled incessantly around Ji Yunshu’s mind ever since she saw that doll, a knot she could not yet undo.

She fondled the amulet in her fingers for a while before wiping it clean with her sleeve, tucking it away into her waistband. She sighed as she looked towards the broken window; her face doused in cold moonlight. How was Wei Yi? Did anything happen to him? However, she was confident only Jing Rong could understand what she wrote on the piece of cloth she had entrusted to Wei Yi, as she had written them illegibly, and in code.

At that moment.

Wei Yi was clutching his stomach as he was guided to the outhouse by that bandit. The entire place was pitch black, and he frowned, “I’m scared!”

The bandit pulled out a torch from his waistband, lighting it up and handing it to Wei Yi with annoyance, not forgetting to curse as he rolled his eyes, “Troublesome bugger. There aren’t any ghosts in there. Who did you think would eat you alive?”

Wei Yi had rather sharp ears - he heard everything that bandit had muttered under his breath. Wei Yi waved the torch around in that bandit’s face, glaring angrily at him as he pointed in defiance, “This place is full of potholes! What if I fall without this light? It’s so dirty and smelly - I hate it. What’s more, I’m wearing my favourite clothes that Shu’er bought me. It was quite expensive so I need to cherish it and can’t dirty or spoil it - I’m different from you guys, after all.”

“How are we different?”

“In every way!” He described proudly, “You guys kill people and I don’t, you handle knives all day and I don’t, and you’re more evil than Brother Mo Ruo - he only made me drink one cup of wine, but you kept feeding me jar after jar. You guys even hurt Shu’er - you’re all bad people. When bad people die, they’ll end up in hell - King Hades will fry you in boiling oil and stop you from reincarnating, in case you hurt other people again.” Wei Yi began to chuckle with glee.

He blinked several times with his large, innocent eyes, cocking his proud head as he prodded this bandit in his chest multiple times. He continued eerily, “Then you’ll all become wandering ghosts. The Taoist priests will capture you all and your souls will break apart into a million pieces and you’ll never be whole again!” His childish face was especially amusing lighted up by the dim, flickering torch.

That bandit was utterly defeated as he digested these words which he had never before heard in his life. When he came around, he slapped Wei Yi on his head harshly, “Damn you, pretending to be some mighty scholar. I hate people like you the most - speaking funny words, making it difficult to understand.” He slapped Wei Yi continuously, forcing him into the outhouse. He kicked him inside, “Mind your business, make it quick.”

Slam! He shut the outhouse door. Inside, Wei Yi held his head in pain, slamming the door as he shouted outside, “I didn’t study much! I’m not some scholar. My teacher felt I was too stupid and never told me anything. I heard all this from the storyteller, it’s true, I’m not lying! He said that you must listen obediently and be a good man, so we can rise to the heavens and become deities when we die. The storyteller also said that if we do more good deeds, we can accumulate good karma and achieve Nirvana!”


This foolish young master was led by the nose by that storyteller, it seems!

“Brother, are you listening?”

“I’m still here.”

“Then do you believe me?”




“Good, then let me tell you another secret…”

The bandit found himself a comfortable position, propping his head up with one hand, watching the outhouse as he quietly listened to Wei Yi ramble on and on. He spoke of the skies and the earth, of King Hades and the deep forest fairies, never tiring. In that time, Wei Yi learnt that the bandit was called Xiao Yu, and took to calling him ‘Brother Xiao Yu’. Xiao Yu had the jeebies at Wei Yi’s familiarity, but as he listened on, he found himself falling deeper into his stories, realising that there was such a big, wide, world out there that he had never known of!

Xiao Yu scratched his head as he shouted across the outhouse door, “What happened next? What happened to that monkey?”

“He’s not a monkey!”

“They’re all the same.”

“It’s not the same. He’s the Great Sage, a Sage, not a monkey.”

Xiao Yu thought about it, waving a wand away, “Whatever, who cares what he’s called. Hurry up, tell me, what happened to that Great Sage? Did he really die under the weight of the mountain?”

“The Great Sage won’t die. Shu’er said that someone would come to save him, but we were brought here by you lot before she could finish.” What a waste!

Xiao Yu’s curiousity was piqued. He reiterated anxiously, “If you know what happens next, remember to tell me straight away.”

“Sure, Brother, count on me. When Shu’er finishes telling me the story, I’ll tell you.”

“Good, you’re a loyal one. I quite like you, this rascal.”

Creak! The outhouse door opened, with Wei Yi giggling, “But I don’t like you.”


“Brother, I’m hungry.”

Xiao Yu pinched the bridge of his nose, jumping back a meter or so, saying, “It’s none of my business if you’re hungry.”

“Then what if I die?”


“If I die, I can’t tell you what happens next in the story.”

Eh? Xiao Yu thought Wei Yi’s words rang true; the Boss did tell them not to let those two get hurt, what if he really died of hunger and blamed it on himself - what would happen to him? “Fine, fine, fine. Let’s go back now, I’ll find you something to eat.”

Wei Yi flinched, “No. I want to find it myself. I want to go to the kitchen.”

“Let’s go, let’s go, it’s up to you.” Xiao Yu was thoroughly bought over by him; he could not be bothered to argue with him and brought Wei Yi to the kitchen he so desired.

Two servants were packing and cleaning up in the kitchen. Wei Yi began to turn things over as soon as he entered, ruffling their feathers as they stopped him, “Hey, hey, hey. What are you looking for?”

“I’m hungry!” Wei Yi soothed his stomach.

Xiao Yu quickly came forth, telling those two servants, “Is there anything left to eat? Give this rascal some.”

“We have some, but this idiot’s our Boss’s hostage - is he allowed to eat?”

“Come on, stop mucking around.”

“Hold on.” The man brought out some rice and dishes reluctantly.

Just then, someone shouted from outside the kitchen, “Dear sirs, I’ve brought the thing you wanted.” They glanced outside to see an old man, about fifty or sixty years old, pushing a cart right up to the kitchen.

Grenn's Rants Corner

Wei Yi is talking about Journey to the West. The Great Sage is Sun Wukong.

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